Writer's Block
by imdrowninginfootwear
Summary: Dean is having trouble dealing with a loss and although he teaches a writing class, he has terrible writer's block. Cas is one of his students. One class Dean snaps and starts picking on Cas. Can anonymous texts bring them love? I know, bad summary...
1. Meet the Teacher

Dean Winchester woke up to the sound of his alarm clock going off. He rolled over and slammed his hand down on the snooze button, seven thirty was way too early to be getting up on a Saturday.

He rolled back over and glared at the empty space in the other side of the bed.

_What's the point of even getting up?_ Dean wondered to himself.

He laid there, staring at the opposite side of the bed for a few minutes longer, then forced himself to get out of the bed.

He walked straight to the washroom and turned the tap on. He splashed some water onto his face, then tightly gripped either side of the sink in his hands.

Dean stared into his reflection at the baggy-eyed man looking back.

"I can do this," He told himself. "I'll throw on a fake smile because I'm alright. I have to be alright. I'll make it through the day, just like I do every other day. Today will _not_ be the day that I finally break down."

Once Dean had convinced himself as much as he thought possible, he shut the tap off and headed towards the shower.

He turned the water on and immediately stripped off his boxers and stepped in. He didn't wait for the water to warm up, he saw no point.

He quickly showered, then stepped out and grabbed a towel.

As he was walking back into his bedroom he stopped and shared one more look with his reflection. He broke the disheartened gaze, then continued walking.

He walked straight past the first dresser, which had gathered quite a few layers of dust in the time that it had been left untouched. At the second dresser he opened the drawers pulling out the first things he saw, a pair of light blue jeans, a tight green t-shirt, and a pair of black boxers.

He quickly threw them on and headed to the kitchen. He popped two pieces of bread into the toaster, then made himself some coffee.

He poured the coffee into a travel mug and quickly buttered the toast, then threw on his leather jacket.

He grabbed the keys to his Impala off of the table by the door and then walked out of his apartment, breakfast in hand.

On the way down the flight of stairs he scarfed down the toast, it was all gone by the time he reached the parking lot.

He got into his car and chugged a large amount of coffee, not caring that it was burning his throat. He made sure that the lid of the mug was securely closed, then placed it in the cup holder and started up his car.

* * *

><p>Once Dean arrived at work he sat in the car for a few minutes to psyche himself up, after all he was still early.<p>

He had a new class today, which meant meeting new people. Dean didn't much care for new people. If he wound up caring about any of them they would just be more people to lose. At least Gabe would be there, though.

Finally Dean realized how stupid it was to wait in the car and grabbed his coffee, stepping out of the car. He slathered on the fake smile, which seemed to be the only type of smile he knew most of the time now.

When he walked into his classroom, Dean noticed that there were around fifteen students. All were approximately his age and there was a fairly even split in gender.

Dean plopped down into his comfy desk chair, he still had about five minutes before class started and he planned on spending them anti-socially.

"You don't look so good, Dean-o," Gabe said, approaching the desk. So much for being anti-social.

"Shocker, Gabe," Dean responded, sarcastically. "This is just how I am now."

"No, it's worse than before," Gabe said, sounding concerned. "Are the nightmares back?"

"What does it matter?" Dean asked, dodging having to answer the question.

"You have to stop beating yourself up, man," Gabe said.

"Why? It was my fault. And besides, it's not like I can control my nightmares," Dean responded.

Gabe scowled at him, "It wasn't your fault."

"Whatever," Dean said, sounding unconvinced. "So is that why you signed up for this class? Just to keep tabs on my mental health?"

"And to make sure that you don't go into grumpy-old-man-teacher-mode," Gabe said, with a teasing grin.

Dean rolled his eyes and gave his friend one of his rare genuine smiles, although it was a sheepish one it had to count as something. "Good to know that I've got a babysitter."

Gabe looked down at his watch then said, "Oh, learning time. I'd better take my seat. Don't want to get the new teach mad at me."

Dean was surprised to find himself still actually smiling. That must be why Sam had talked Gabe into coming to this class, because Gabe had the magic power of distracting Dean and being able to cheer him up. Just like Sam had the magic power of convincing Gabe to do things.

Dean got out of his chair and wrote 'Dean Winchester' on the board behind his desk. The class instantly silenced at the sight of this.

"Alright, my name's Dean Winchester," Dean said, capturing the classes attention. "You can call me Dean, I don't want to be called Mr. Winchester."

Gabe eagerly raised his hand.

Dean rolled his eyes, then asked, "What, Gabe?"

"Can I call you-" Gabe started before he was cut off.

"No," Dean said.

"But you didn't even hear what I was going to ask," Gabe protested.

"I know the kind of ideas that go through that mind," Dean said.

"I was just going to say Mr. Teacher Man," Gabe pouted.

"Whatever," Dean said, wanting to get back to teacher mode instead of arguing with his friend. Not that he was very good at teacher mode. "I guess that I should probably learn your names, too, so lets just go around and introduce ourselves." Dean didn't like how kindergarten the activity was, but he had to figure out their names somehow, and eavesdropping didn't seem like the best idea.

As the students introduced themselves Dean mentally repeated their names in his head.

_Anna, Crowley, Gabe, Adam.._

The next one to introduce himself seemed overdressed for an early morning writing class. Although his brown hair was ruffled, he wore a suit and trench coat.

"I'm Castiel, but I much prefer Cas," The strange man said in a husky voice.

The rest of the class introduced themselves as well.

Dean decided to have each of them write a short story so that he could see where their writing skill was at. At the end of the class they all had finished and handed him the pages on the way out.

* * *

><p>Dean had survived the first week's class, but hadn't exactly done well. He was starting to think that having Gabe there might be more of a disadvantage.<p>

Once he got home he turned on his laptop and opened up a blank word document. He stared at it for a long time before slamming his laptop shut and going to grab a beer.

* * *

><p>The next Saturday, Dean's morning routine was virtually identical to the one the week before. Once class started Dean handed back the stories that he had read, he was glad to have found that everyone in the class could actually write to some degree. He'd had some pretty brutal students before.<p>

He was slightly concerned about the level of detail that Crowley had gone into in his story about torture, though. He'd remember not to piss that guy off.

As he handed each student their paper he gave them some feedback.

Crowley's story had good detail, Anna's had an interesting plot-line.

Once he got to Cas he handed back the story and said, "You know some of the characters had quite the mouthful for names, but they were well-developed. You might want to use shorter names next time."

"Well, Mr. Winchester, not everyone has short names like 'Bob' or 'Joe'," Cas responded calmly.

"Well, _Castiel_," Dean said, choosing to act like a five year old and use the name that Cas didn't like, since Cas had used the one that he didn't. "That's not what I was saying." His tone came out angry, it looked like today might just be the day that he snaps.

"Mr. Winchester," Cas said, gritting his teeth as he did so.

"Castiel."

"Mr. Winchester."

"Castiel."

"Winchester."

"Casti-"

Dean was cut off by Gabe loudly coughing to get his attention, then waggling his eyebrows as he asked, "Is this maybe a... _sexual_ tension?"

"Shut up, Gabe," Dean said, pissily, before moving onto the next student.

For the rest of the class Dean was in a bad mood, he was sick of pretending to be happy and he'd barely slept in months. All of the rage that he was finally letting out seemed to be directed towards the one student who had simply pointed out that not all names have to be short.

Every comment that the poor student made would be shot down by the mad teacher.

Once class was over Cas left the room, also seeming angry now. All of the students headed straight out of the room, except for Gabe that is.

"What the hell was that?" Gabe hissed at Dean.

"Leave me alone," Dean said, falling back into his chair.

"Like you did to Cas?" Gabe asked. "He said one thing and you went complete bitch mode for the rest of class."

"I know," Dean said sighing. "Because I'm an idiot. And if you're here to watch my mental health, then I have news for you. It's going bye-bye."

"That's because your entire life is wrapped around her memory," Gabe said.

"Shut up," Dean said, he wasn't going to have this conversation. Not now. "I'm fine."

Dean and Gabe both knew just how bad of condition Dean was in, that he wasn't 'fine'. But Gabe also knew that Dean was a stubborn bastard and that pushing him now was not a good idea.

Gabe sighed, then said, "See ya later, Dean-o."

Dean watched his friend leave the classroom, then slammed his head down on the desk.

What had he done? _Stupid, stupid, stupid._ He was supposed to be helping his students, not acting like a complete ass-hole.

Suddenly an idea popped into Dean's head, all he had to do was figure out one thing.

* * *

><p>Cas was sitting behind a desk at his office when his phone vibrated in his pocket.<p>

He pulled it out to see a text from a number that he didn't recognize.

_Dean was being a total douche-bag, you should just ignore his bitchiness._

Cas, hit reply, then quickly typed something.

Dean's phone went off a second later.

**From Cas:**

_Who is this?_

Dean wasn't sure how to answer this, he had planned on just anonymously saying the one thing to hopefully make Cas feel better. He should have seen the question coming. Finally he decided what to type back.

_Just someone in your class._

**From Cas:**

_That's real helpful... How did you even get my number?_

**From Dean:**

_Wouldn't you like to know?_

**From Cas:**

_Well duh, when some random number starts texting me I tend to want to know who they are and how the hell they found out my number._

**From Dean:**

_Isn't it funner this way? More mysterious?_

**From Cas:**

_Maybe for you._

**From Dean:**

_Maybe. So why are you even in writing class, Mr. Suit?_

**From Cas:**

_Why are you?_

**From Dean:**

_True._

**From Cas:**

_You're terrible at answering questions._

**From Dean:**

_Fine, I guess it's because at one point I actually used to enjoy writing._

**From Cas:**

_If you USED TO enjoy writing then why are you in a class now?_

**From Dean:**

_I don't know, I don't really enjoy anything anymore. I guess I'm trying to force myself to enjoy something again._

**From Cas:**

_See? Answering questions isn't that difficult._

**From Dean:**

_Not when the other person has zero idea of who you are. Even if you wanted to tell people you wouldn't know what name to say._

* * *

><p>Dean continued to text Cas for the rest of the day. He had meant for it just to be the one text, but now he was discovering that he liked being able to talk to someone who doesn't know his entire story. Who doesn't know his real name. And besides, Cas was actually interesting. This was probably a very bad idea, but that had never stopped Dean from doing something stupid in the past.<p>

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Please read and review! I'd love to know if you'd like me to continue! Thanks for reading either way, and I hope that you enjoyed it! :D**

**I know that the thing that I probably least need right now is to start another story, but I had to. What can I say, I'm addicted to starting stories. And this time I'm not going to lie to myself about it being a short story, it's probably going to be fairly long. I'm now currently actively updating five ffs including this one, but I'll try to update as soon as possible. As long as I'm not too busy that should hopefully be soon.**


	2. I'm Not Falling Apart

When Dean Winchester's alarm clock woke him up the next Saturday, he went through his regular routine: hit snooze, glare at the empty half of the bed for a couple of minutes, force himself to get up, stare in the mirror telling himself that he could make it through the day, quick shower, look at himself in the mirror for a few seconds..

The routine was only broken when, instead of walking straight past the first dresser he stopped and turned to stare at the dusty picture that sat on top of it.

It was one that Dean had refused to let himself look at for a long time. Because _she_ was in the picture, with her arm wrapped around a happy Dean, one with a huge goofy grin.

Dean suddenly angrily grabbed the picture frame and slammed it down onto the dresser so that the picture was no longer on display. That picture was a lie, she hadn't been there in a very long time. And happy, carefree Dean had been gone for just as long.

Dean then continued with his routine: threw on the first clothes he saw, made coffee and toast, ate on the way to the car, got in and burnt his tongue on the coffee, then drove to work.

* * *

><p>When Dean entered the classroom he sat down at his desk and leaned back in the chair.<p>

Gabe instantly made his way over, his eyes full of concern.

"You really need to get some sleep man," Gabe told him.

"Oh thanks, saying that is definitely the key," Dean said sarcastically. "You know, I thought that I would never get a full night's sleep again without waking up from the stupid nightmares. But now that you gave me that piece of advice I'm sure I'll be able to sleep perfectly tonight."

"Nightmares? So they _are _back," Gabe said.

"Shut up," Dean responded.

"Lack of sleep makes Dean a bitchy boy," Gabe pointed out.

"More like having a dead wife and Gabe constantly monitoring me like I'm about to explode makes Dean a bitchy boy," Dean corrected. "Besides, it's been almost a year. I'm fine."

"No, it's been almost a year and you look like you're about five seconds from snapping," Gabe said.

"So what if I am?" Dean asked with a smirk.

"This is serious Dean," Gabe said with a sigh as he went to return to his desk.

"Have fun ratting me out to Sammy," Dean loudly called after him.

Gabriel rolled his eyes as he sat down.

* * *

><p>Halfway through the class, when all of the students were busy writing, Dean pulled out his phone and hid it underneath his desk.<p>

He was sick of being asked about his poor sleeping habits, and he wasn't the only one in the room who looked sleep deprived right now.

* * *

><p><strong>From Dean:<strong>

_You look tired._  
><strong>From Cas:<strong>

_Yeah, I stayed up way too late watching a marathon on tv._

**From Dean:**

_What show?_

**From Cas:**

_... Dr. Sexy MD ..._

**From Dean:**

_Are you serious? You are such a liar._

**From Cas:**

_No. Just because you don't like it, doesn't mean that I can't._

**From Dean:**

_Whoa, whoa, whoa!_

_Who said anything about me not liking that show? _

_It's my favourite show._

_I just thought that I was the only guy who liked it._

_Which is what my brother loves to tell me._

**From Cas:**

_So you're a guy... and you have a brother._

**From Dean:**

_... Is that a problem?_

**From Cas:**

_No, that's a good thing._

**From Dean:**

_Oh really?_

**From Cas:**

_Oh yeah._

* * *

><p>Dean looked down and struggled to keep a straight face. He wanted to smirk, but that would give away his identity. So instead, he just put his phone discreetly back into his pocket. He didn't need to be distracting his student by texting him for any longer, that was like the ultimate teaching fail.<p>

* * *

><p>Castiel couldn't believe that he hadn't managed to see who was texting him. He had been looking around, but whoever had been texting him had been hiding their phone too well.<p>

* * *

><p>When Dean returned home he was grinning as he thought about the last two texts that he had received from Cas.<p>

The grin fell off of his face once he entered his bedroom and flipped the picture of him and Lisa back up. He could see the accusations in her eyes now.

What had he been thinking flirting with Cas today? He should never have done that...

Dean stood there staring at the picture for several more long minutes before he finally grabbed the frame and threw it at the wall.

He didn't stop there though, it felt good to finally take out his frustration on something. He was sicking of walking around feeling like a robot, empty.

Dean slid his arm along the top of the dresser knocking everything onto the floor. Several glass items broke by his feet, but he couldn't care right now.

Somewhere in the back of Dean's mind he registered the sound of his cell phone ringing, but he was too busy to care.

Next he kicked the dresser as hard as he could, hurting his foot. Then he pushed over the entire dresser and began to feel warm tears roll down the sides of his face.

Whoever was calling had given up on his cell and was now calling the phone in his apartment.

Dean began ripping open the drawers of the dresser and throwing her clothes everywhere. He purposely tore some of them in half.

The answering machine now picked up, "Dean, it's Sam. Gabe told me that the nightmares are back. And I know that you're ignoring me, so just pick up or I'm coming over."

A few seconds later the phone began to ring.

Dean walked over and threw the phone at the ground, causing it to break.

He now walked around his entire apartment destroying absolutely anything that reminded him of his dead wife.

He only stopped to really look at the destruction that he had caused once he heard a knock at his apartment door. Dean fell to the ground wondering what the hell he was thinking. Why had he destroyed all of her stuff?

Sam unlocked his brother's apartment with his spare key to find Dean lying on the ground weeping in the middle of a huge pile of wreckage from all of Lisa's objects that had remained untouched, until that day, for almost a year.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Please read and review! Sorry it took so long, but I really hope that you enjoyed the update :D**

**A super special thank you to the reviewers of the first chapter: Miss-Kitty23, xelloss100, TWIantoJones, Paulathe Cat, PrettyGirlyFan, OragamiSauce, Vanadium23, and kissacazador!**


	3. Brotherly Sleepover

Sam wasn't sure what to do, so he just stood in the doorway shocked.

Suddenly Dean's eyes shot up to stare at his brother.

Sam hadn't seen his brother for a few weeks, and he was amazed at the huge bags underneath Dean's eyes. Sam's brain seemed to snap back into gear then.

"I'm going to pack you some clothes, you're staying with me," Sam said and began to head towards his brother's bedroom.

"You aren't going to ask what happened?" Dean asked, while wiping the tears off of his face. He was embarrassed to have been found in that condition.

"You can explain when we get there," Sam responded. He wanted to know what happened, but he was more concerned about getting Dean out of there at that moment.

* * *

><p>When they got to Sam's place, a much calmer Dean flopped down onto the couch.<p>

"So are you going to tell me what happened, now?" Sam asked, as he too sat down.

"I'd rather not," Dean said, wishing that Sam hadn't witnessed his breakdown. "If I tell you, then you'll think that I'm crazy. If I don't tell you, you'll still think that I'm crazy. I don't see the point in explaining it. It makes no difference."

"If it makes no difference, then just tell me," Sam insisted.

Dean sighed then told the story of how he had been flirting with 'someone' and then Lisa's eyes in the picture were throwing accusations at him, so he threw it and then just kept on throwing and breaking things until he finally snapped back to his senses.

"So this _'someone'_ you were flirting with, was it a guy or girl?" Sam asked.

"Guy," Dean responded. "What difference does that make?"

"Just wondering," Sam said. "So do you like him?"

"No, I don't like him.. I _can't_ like him," Dean replied, sounding like he was trying to convince himself just as much as he was trying to convince Sam.

"Can't? Or won't let yourself?" Sam asked.

Dean shot his brother a glare, then said, "I'm done having this conversation."

"You know that she'd just want you to be happy," Sam told him.

"Shut it, Sammy. I said I was done having this conversation," Dean said as he got up to leave the room. "Besides, it's not like I deserve to be happy."

Sam scowled at that last comment, but thought better than to speak up.

* * *

><p>That night when Dean fell asleep on the sofabed, he had the nightmare plague him once again.<p>

* * *

><p><em>"Oh come on, can't we just go home? I'm tired," Lisa asked, from the passenger seat of Dean's car.<em>

_"I told Gabe that I'd pick it up today," Dean said, smiling over at his wife._

_"I doubt that he'd care if you picked it up tomorrow instead," Lisa tried again._

_"It'll take two seconds," Dean said, as he pulled into Gabe's driveway. "And I'll make it up to you tomorrow." Dean leaned over and gave her a quick kiss, then repeated, "Two seconds."_

_Dean got out and went to knock on the door, causing Gabe to instantly open the door._

_Gabe passed him a box and then Dean walked back to the car. He placed the box on the backseat, then got into the driver's seat._

_"See that wasn't so bad," Dean said with a grin._

_"I guess not," Lisa agreed with a sly smirk. "But you're still making it up to me."_

_"That's a deal," Dean said, then went to go drive._

_At the stop sign on the edge of Gabe's street Dean went to turn, but a car full of drunk teens came speeding around the corner and crashed into the front of their car._

_Dean's car was thrown sideways and glass shattered everywhere. His first thought was to check if his wife was okay._

_"Lisa?" He whispered, while fighting his air bag and attempting to turn in his seat._

_"Dean," Her response came faint and panicked._

_"You okay?" Dean asked._

_There was no response from her. Somewhere in the background Dean could here Gabe yelling to him, but that didn't matter now._

_Dean continued to struggle and finally managed to turn in his seat to see the gruesome condition that his wife was in. Her airbag had failed and she didn't appear to be breathing. Dean could feel the tears falling now and his mind was filled with panic._

_Suddenly Lisa's battered body sat up and turned to glare at him._

_"No, _you_ don't get to cry. At least _you _got to live," She said angrily in a deformed voice. "_You _did this to me, it's all _your _fault. I'd still be alive if _you _hadn't stopped at Gabe's house."_

_"No, Lisa! No!" Dean yelled in a frenzied panick._

* * *

><p>When Dean woke up he was still yelling, and attempting to thrash. But something was holding him down.<p>

"Dude, calm down," Sam told him. "You're awake now."

"I guess I'm not helping the 'Dean's not crazy' case," Dean muttered. "What time is it?"

"Four in the morning," Sam responded.

"Fan-freaking-tastic," Dean said sarcastically.

"Do you want to talk about your nightmare?" Sam asked.

"No, it's the same as it always is," Dean replied. "Besides I already woke you up. Just go back to bed, Sammy."

"If they're back then maybe you should go see someone about it," Sam suggest.

Dean instantly responded, "No, you aren't sending me to some dumb-ass shrink. I'll deal with it myself."

"Because that's working out so well for you," Sam said sarcastically.

"Hey, I flirted with someone. Doesn't that count for anything?" Dean asked.

"It'd count for a lot more if you hadn't trashed your own apartment after," Sam told him.

"So I'm taking babysteps, so what?" Dean asked. "Seriously man, go back to bed. I'm fine."

"Dean, you've been saying that you're fine for almost a year. Eventually you're going to have to tell the truth," Sam said. "I'm not going back to bed, I'm staying here." With that Sam sat down in the armchair that was next to the couch.

"Suit yourself," Dean said with an eyeroll, although secretly he was glad that Sam was staying there. "Just don't creeper stare at me while I sleep, bitch."

"Jerk," Sam said with a quiet snort.

A while passed by of Dean tossing and turning, unable to get back to sleep and unable to take his mind off of the nightmare. He rolled over deciding that maybe he _would _confide in Sam, only to find his brother curled up fast asleep in his chair.

Dean smirked at the sight, then crawled out of bed. He grabbed his blanket and wrapped it around his little brother.

"At least one of us can sleep," Dean whispered, then climbed back onto his bed.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Please read and review! Thanks for reading everyone for reading, and I hope that you weren't TOO disappointed in the lack of Cas during this chapter.**

**:D A huge thanks goes out to last chapter's reviewers: Paulathe Cat, PrettyGirlyFan, kisscazador, Havent Met My Angel Yet, firgodes7, Manifestation of a Storyteller, darkphoenix2345, and Vanadium23!**


	4. I Ain't Afraid of No Ghost!

The first thing that Sam Winchester noticed when he woke up the next morning was a sharp pain in his neck.

As soon as he attempted to move, he came to his second realization of the morning; he was somehow laying with his 6' 4 figure smushed in between the arm rests of the chair in his living room.

He spent a good five minutes thrashing violently in an attempt to escape the chair, but only wound up getting the damn blanket wrapped around his neck... When did that get there anyways?

"Having troubles Sammy?" Dean asked in an amused tone as he rolled over on the sofa bed to find out what the hell his brother was trying to do.

Sam took note of how dark the circles under Dean's eyes had become before asking, "How the hell did I even fit here in the first place?"

"How am I supposed to know, Gigantor?" Dean asked mockingly.

"Whatever, just get me out of here!" Sam said, his tone filled with concern as if the chair were a ticking time bomb.

"Fine," Dean said, and swiftly rolled off of the sofa-bed.

Dean grabbed onto Sam's arm and tugged as hard as he could. At first nothing happened, then the chair released its grip on Sam with enough momentum to knock both brothers to the ground.

"Ughh, get off me Sammy," Dean complained.

The two brothers got up and ate their breakfast, deciding to go clean up the mess that used to be Dean's apartment afterwards.

* * *

><p>When Sam began working on the living room of the apartment, Dean moved towards the bedroom.<p>

He stepped over the broken glass and immediately grabbed the broken frame from the picture he had thrown against the wall.

Dean cut his hands on the shards of glass as he removed the picture, but he didn't care. He deserved it after all. How could he have dared to smash their wedding picture? How was that supposed to relieve his guilt?

The picture seemed to be in good condition still, except for one slightly bent corner. Dean stuck the picture in his inside jacket pocket, then began to clean up his mess.

* * *

><p><em>"No<em>, you _don't get to cry. At least _you _got to live. _You _did this to me, it's all_ your _fault. I'd still be alive if _you _hadn't stopped at Gabe's house."_

Dean woke up to Sam shaking him awake for the third night in a row.

"Dean, calm down," Sam said as Dean, once again, woke up thrashing.

"I'm fine," Dean said, sitting up in bed.

"Stop saying that, you always say that and you're _always _lying," Sam argued. His voice became gentle as he added, "You need to talk about your dreams."

"_Dream_," Dean corrected. "It's the exact same every time, so what's there to talk about?"

"Saying that it's the same as every other time doesn't help when I don't have any idea what the dream is!" Sam argued.

"Just go back to bed, Sammy. You have work again and you look like shit from babysitting me while I sleep. You aren't sleeping in the chair, and you aren't sleeping on the floor like last night. So just get your ass to bed, because I'm not having this conversation."

"Oh yes, you are," Sam said stubbornly as he sat down on the covers next to his brother. "I'm not leaving until you tell me what happens in your dream.. So unless you want to share a bed, you'd better get explaining."

Dean remained silent for a few seconds, then let out a sigh of defeat.

"It's the night of the accident.." Dean started, looking down at the blanket instead of at Sam. "It happens just like it really did. I stop at Gabe's when she tells me not too, the drunk driver hits us because of it. And there's nothing I can do to save her." Both brothers remained silent for few more dragged out seconds, then Dean clears his throat and with tears forming in his eyes, adds, "But then it changes, she sits back up and her body's all messed up from the crash. And she starts yelling at me.. She deserves to yell at me. Everything she says is right. It was my fault, I should be dead instead of her. I don't deserve to feel sad.."

Sam slapped his brother across the face as hard as he could.

"What was that for?" Dean asked, finally meeting Sam's eyes while clutching the side of his face.

"You're an idiot," Sam replied angrily, ignoring the tears trailing down his brother's now red cheek. "It wasn't your fault and you do deserve to feel sad; you lost your wife. But she doesn't deserve you remembering her this way jackass! If she had survived she never would have blamed you for the crash. And she'd kick your sorry ass for even thinking that you deserved to die in that crash!"

"Look that's all great to say, but I can't just turn the nightmares off, Sammy! Don't you think that if I could I would? I don't want to remember her like that! I don't want to be so goddamn broken that flirting makes me trash my own apartment! And I can't just convince myself that I deserve to live more than her!" Dean yelled.

"That's not what I meant," Sam responded. "You're right, she did deserve to live just as much as you. But that isn't how life works. You aren't broken, you're just afraid. You're afraid to move on with your life. Well, news flash! You lived and she didn't. If you had died would you want her to sit around groveling or go on with her life? You survived, Dean. You can't keep reliving it and walking around like a robot, because right now it seems like it _did_ take your life with hers."

Sam left the room and Dean slammed his head against the pillow. He sobbed into the pillow trying to figure out why, if Sam was right, did any attempts to move on feel so incredibly wrong?

* * *

><p>For the next four nights Sam woke Dean from his nightmares and asked him to talk about it. As soon as Dean brushed the idea off, Sam would change the discussion to a light topic in the hopes of taking his brother's mind off the dreams.<p>

* * *

><p>When Dean entered the classroom Saturday morning, he really wanted to ignore Cas. To be able to act as if Cas was just another student, and not they guy he had been flirting with.<p>

It became very apparent that this wasn't going to happen the moment that Cas entered the room talking to Anna. He wasn't wearing the suit and trench coat that Dean had become used to seeing after the first three classes. Instead he was wearing a pair of jeans and an everyday t-shirt. How did he make ordinary clothes look so incredibly extraordinary? And why was Dean imagining going over there to interrupt Anna and figure out what was so goddamn funny to make Cas have a giggly fit?

"What are you staring at?" Gabe asked, causing Dean's eyes to snap away; his reverie instantly ending.

"Nothing," Dean said looking up at his friend. "Just sleeping with my eyes open. You know if you keep chatting me up before class, I might have to make you the official teacher's pet."

"Are you sure you weren't staring at anything?" Gabe asked and waggled his eyebrows up and down as he leaned over to whisper, "Because I could have sworn you were staring over at _Castiel_, _Mr. Winchester_."

"Don't be an idiot Gabe, I wasn't looking at anything I'm just sleep deprived from all my nightmares.. You know, the ones about my _dead wife_?" Dean hissed back.

"Sorry Dean-o," Gabe responded. "Geez, I was just teasing, you didn't have to get your panties in a knot and pull the dead wife card!"

Dean glared at him, effectively sending Gabe to his seat. He chanced one last glance towards the laughing Cas and Anna before starting class.

Cas was starting to wonder what had happened to the mystery guy who had suddenly stopped texting him after last Saturday. That is until he felt his phone vibrate in the pocket of his jeans halfway through class.

He removed the phone from his pocket subtly, hoping to remain unnoticed.

* * *

><p><strong>From Dean:<strong>

_You aren't wearing your uniform._

**From Cas:**

_Ha. Ha. I had to work overtime last three weeks. I don't have to go to work afterwards today._

**From Dean:**

_This looks much better than the trench coat anyways._

**From Cas:**

_Why does everybody hate my trench coat?_

_And how can I not see you texting?_

**From Dean:**

_Simple, I'm a robot. The most high-tech kind. I'm texting you with my brain._

**From Cas:**

_Or maybe you're a shitbox robot and you're just programmed to think you're high-tech when really you're obsolete._

**From Dean:**

_Then shit. I may or may not explode because you said that._

**From Cas:**

_Nah, you're fine. They don't give the shitboxes self-destruct programming._

* * *

><p>Dean stared at his phone. He felt like he had been in self-destruct mode lately. At least most of the time.<p>

But how had he woken up this morning so incredibly hopeless and wound up trying to hold back a smirk now?

Maybe he wasn't a shitbox. And maybe Sam could be right, about more than one thing.

A sudden anger once again came over Dean as he closed his phone.

* * *

><p>"Dammit Sam!" Dean yelled as he entered the kitchen, where Sam was eating breakfast.<p>

"What'd I do?" Asked a very confused Sam.

"You were right! I do like him!" Dean yelled angrily.

"Good," Sam said with a smile. "Then what are you mad about?"

"Good? This is not good! It is bad; very, very bad! That's what I'm mad about!" Dean responded.

* * *

><p><strong><em><em>A/N: Please read and review! I'm super sorry for taking this long to update, he next chapter will hopefully be up quicker. Anyways, thanks for reading! :D**

**Especially the reviewers of last chapter: Paulathe Cat, PrettyGirlyFan, darkphoenix2345, Vanadium23, kissacazador, Luciel89, Gothikiisu, firgodes7, Noctypus, Havent Met My Angel Yet, and Miss-Kitty23**


	5. A Well Deserved BitchOut

_"You were right! I do like him!" Dean yelled angrily._

_"Good," Sam said with a smile. "Then what are you mad about?"_

_"Good? This is not good! It is bad; very, very bad! That's what I'm mad about!" Dean responded._

"I'm going to need a little more of an explanation than that, Dean," Sam told him.

"It's bad because he's one of my students," Dean told him. "And he hates me."

"Why does he hate you?" Sam asked, seeming unimpressed.

Dean continued to explain to Sam, telling him the story of how he had begun texting Cas. He was sure to leave out Cas's name, though.

"And you can't say anything to Gabe about it," Dean warned. "I'm going to tell him later. I just don't want him to find out yet, because god knows what embarrassing thing he would do."

"Well if this guy likes text you, then I doubt that he really hates you," Sam told him.

"Well even if he didn't hate me, and if he wasn't in my class, and finding out who I am wouldn't make him think that I'm totally nuts; it would still be bad," Dean responded in exasperation.

"Why?" Sam asked, clearly growing sick of his brother's excuses.

"Because Lisa died thanks to me! If we had never been in that crash, then I would still be with her! Don't you understand that? _I _got her killed and I am _not_ going to cheat on her, too!" Dean snapped.

"Dean-" Sam tried, but before he could continue Dean stopped him with a wave of his hand.

The sound of the door slamming left Sam alone with his thoughts.

He couldn't believe that his brother really felt that way.

He knew that Dean felt guilty, and he was trying to figure out how to change that. But Sam hadn't known that the reason Dean refused to even try to get over her, or look at someone else was, because he thought it was like cheating.

"Forgot my keys," Dean said, walking back inside.

Sam instantly took the opportunity to cut in between his brother and the door, blocking the exit.

"What?" Asked a frustrated Dean, after his attempts to push past the sasquatch failed.

"You're wrong, Dean," Sam said, staring straight into Dean's eyes. "You have no reason to feel guilty. The accident was because of those stupid kids, not because you went to Gabe's for two seconds. It was bad luck, you have to let it go."

Dean jostled with Sam, but only wound up with Sam's iron grasp on both of his arms.

"Spare me your chick-flick dramatics! I don't need your go-get-'em-tiger speech!" Dean argued, while flailing in a weak attempt to make Sam release his grip.

"Well clearly you do. And I'm not done talking!" Sam said through gritted teeth. "You shouldn't feel guilty about liking someone else, either. For all we know, you two could have been divorced by now if she had lived."

"Shut your filthy pie-hole!" Dean interrupted.

Sam noticed the fact that Dean wasn't fighting back as hard now. And that if Dean had really wanted out he could have easily kneed Sam in the nuts and left. That's when he decided that there was a chance that maybe this time his words were sinking in. He wasn't going to give up when Dean got mad, then. He was going to keep going, fully aware that Dean still had the opportunity to kick him in the jewels whenever he felt like it.

"And even if you would have lived together happily for the rest of your lives, that can't happen anymore. She's dead, Dean! She isn't coming back! And you need to pull yourself the hell together because if she could see you like this, she'd rise from the dead to kick some sense into you!" Sam yelled. "And honestly it is _not _fair what you're doing to her memory! She wouldn't blame you for the crash, she would want you to move on! Do you honestly think that she wouldn't want you to be happy? That she'd want you to mope around wasting the rest of your life? You didn't survive the crash just to waste your life away. You owe it to her to live it."

Sam released his grip on Dean, then turned and left the house. He wanted Dean to have some alone time to consider his words.

"That's not fair! I was supposed to be the one to leave angry, you dickhead!" Dean called after him.

As Sam drove off, he thought to himself: _At least he isn't acting like a robot anymore._

* * *

><p>Back inside, Dean laid down on the couch and sighed.<p>

Could Sam really be right? There was a large part of him that, more than anything, hoped the words had been true.

The only problem with that was that Dean couldn't convince himself that he deserved to be happy. Or that it wasn't his fault. It's hard to think otherwise with the constant nightmares.

_This is stupid! _Dean mentally yelled at himself. _Even if I deserve to be happy with Cas, there's a million reasons why he wouldn't go for a train-wreck like me!_

Those thoughts are what kept Dean from responding to Cas's texts, even if he wanted to.

* * *

><p>For the rest of the week Cas was disappointed to find no response from his mystery texter. Which seemed incredibly ridiculous when he thought about how little he knew about the guy. Yet he still checked his phone every three seconds in case he missed the alert sound of a new text.<p>

Each night he dreamed a different option of who the mystery guy was. Saturday it was Crowley, which was disturbing to say the least after some of the things he'd overheard the guy say. Sunday it was Gabe, which could only be described as strange. Monday night he dreamed it was Adam, then Tuesday it was Andy. Wednesday it was Dean, which was just ridiculous. There was no way in hell that it was his prick of a teacher. Thursday night it was Chuck, and Friday it was Jake.

* * *

><p>Meanwhile Dean woke up Sam with his screams nightly, then refused to discuss his pain, so Sam would grab a pillow and sleep on the floor.<p>

* * *

><p>As soon as he woke up on Saturday morning, Cas checked his phone to find no new texts.<p>

He still had no idea who the guy was. And it looked he was never going to find out.

* * *

><p>As soon as Dean entered his classroom, he noticed Anna and Cas chatting at the back of the room.<p>

Gabe strolled over to Dean, who seemed to be zoned out staring at who knows what.

"Dean?" Gabe asked quietly.

"Dean?" This time he was significantly louder.

"Dean!" Gabe hissed, while poking his friend in the ribs.

"Hmm, what?" Dean asked, his eyes quickly snapping up to Gabe.

"Well I was going to ask if you knew what you were getting Sam for his birthday," Gabe said. "Were you just sleeping with your eyes open? Are the nightmares that bad that they have you sleep deprived enough to fall asleep at your desk?"

"I wasn't sleeping," Dean argued, then sighed. "But they aren't just keeping me up. Sammy's being stubborn. I'll be screaming in my sleep and wake both of us up. He keeps sleeping on the floor next to me, insisting that he's not going back to bed until I talk about it."

"Then maybe you should talk to him about it," Gabe deadpanned.

"There's no point. It's not like it'll stop the nightmares," Dean responded. "And I don't want to talk about it.."

"Dean, he's worried about you. It couldn't make your nightmares any worse," Gabe told him. "Just talk to Sam, it'll make him feel better. Me too."

"Why?" Dean asked. "Why does hearing how miserable I am make you two feel better? Because it only makes me feel worse having to talk about it. I'm perfectly fine trying to ignore every god-awful thing I feel."

"And how's that working out, Dean-o?" Gabe asked. "We want you to stop pretending everything's okay when you're clearly falling apart."

"Clearly," Dean repeated sarcastically.

"I'm not trying to start a fight, Dean. That wasn't supposed to be an insult," Gabe responded with a sigh."I'm going to sit down."

Dean remained distracted by Gabe and Sam's words for the entirety of the class.

* * *

><p>It wasn't until after class that Dean decided to text Cas for the first time in a week.<p>

He'd prove Sam and Gabe wrong. He'd prove himself wrong. He wasn't broken. He wouldn't quit talking to someone just because he realized that he felt something for them.

* * *

><p>Cas was surprised when he was walking to the car and felt his phone vibrate in his pocket. He grinned when he saw that Mystery Texter had returned.<p>

_Miss me?_

Cas quickly typed back, then got into his car.

* * *

><p><strong>From Cas:<strong>

_Maybe. So I take it you didn't fall off the edge of a cliff._

**From Dean:**

_Just rolled down a hill. I was disoriented for days. _

_Seriously._

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Please read and review! Thanks for reading! I hope this chapter was worth the wait (sorry about that by the way).**

**A special thanks goes out to all the spectacular reviewers of last chapter: Noctypus, xxemiliahxx, KayeleeHope, EvilGeniusBookWorm13, Mist2393, darkphoenix2345, PrettyGirlyFan, kissacazador, dream bigger darling AE, firgodes7, Miss-Kitty23, Haven14, and Mirabilem Electo. :D**


	6. Sammy's Birthday

Dean woke up from his nightmare, feeling an involuntary whimper release from his throat. He looked around to find himself in Sam's living room.

He quickly rolled out of the bed and tiptoed towards Sam's bedroom. He stopped in the doorway and was about to turn back and leave, when he felt a sudden spurt of bravery.

"Sammy," Dean whispered, moving closer to the bed. "Samsquatch," He hissed, while lightly shaking his brother.

"Wha-?" Asked a disoriented Sam.

"Still wanna talk?" Dean asked with a sheepish smile.

Sam wondered what had caused Dean's change of heart. He had opened up to Sam about his nightmares over a week ago, and then completely refused to talk since then. Why was he volunteering to talk?

Sam had many questions, but instead of asking them he simply replied, "Sure... And I want some Lucky Charms."

"Kitchen?" Dean asked.

"Yeah."

* * *

><p>Sam had already poured his cereal and milk, and was sitting at the table patiently waiting for his brother to start talking.<p>

Dean grabbed himself a bowl and was pouring the milk over top of the Lucky Charms when he finally asked, "Do you really think that it wasn't my fault?"

"I _know _that it wasn't your fault," Sam responded.

Dean stared down at his bowl, picking at the cereal with his spoon awkwardly. Gabe had told him to open up to Sam, but Dean didn't know how to. He was more of a bottle-up-your-feelings kind of guy. And now he was sitting silently, after waking his brother up in the middle of the night to talk. He didn't know how to start these conversations unless he was exploding with anger. And even then he'd leave before he confessed too much.

"Do you really think that it was your fault?" Sam asked.

"Yeah.. I mean, kinda.. I don't know what to think anymore," Dean admitted. "Some of the stuff you were saying about it not being makes sense. I just can't get rid of all of the what ifs... What if I hadn't married her? What if I'd made her stay home that night? Or even if I just hadn't gone to Gabe's? Or if I'd seen them earlier?"

"What if Gabe had made you stay longer? What if those kids hadn't been drinking? What if the other driver was never born? What if the air bag hadn't failed? What if you had been distracted by a dancing monkey in your driveway that morning?" Sam asked. "Maybe she'd still be alive. Or maybe she'd be a character in Final Destination with the Grim Reaper making sure that she can't cheat death. There's a million different what ifs out there, Dean. And that's all they are; what ifs. We will never know what might have happened. But you shouldn't let yourself live in those what ifs or else eventually you'll get to 'What if I hadn't lived in the past? 'What if I had tried to let it go and move on?' 'What if I had gone after the guy I liked?'"

"What if Sam didn't know exactly what to say to make me completely confused on whether I feel guilty or not?" Dean asked.

"That's better than feeling beyond a doubt guilty," Sam responded.

"As long as I'm not to blame. But if I am then I should feel one hundred percent guilty," Dean said glumly.

"Exactly. You don't feel one hundred percent guilty, so you aren't blaming yourself," Sam responded. "Part of you knows that it wasn't your fault. That there's no way you could have known it was going to happen or have stopped it."

"Yeah.. Maybe," Dean said with an exasperated sigh.

After a long time of the boys eating their cereal in silence, a wide grin spread across Sam's face.

"So, did you text your guy today?" He asked.

"He's not 'my guy', Sammy," Dean said shooting his brother a half-hearted glare. "...And yes, I did text him."

Sam grinned, then rinsed out his bowl and went to leave the room without another word.

"Stop smirking like that, bitch!" Dean called after him.

"I'll smirk however I want, jerk," Sam responded. "Because that proves that what I'm saying is actually working."

"Or that I decided to text him of my own free will like every other time," Dean argued.

"Right, because you don't end up having freak-outs after every time you text him," Sam said sarcastically. "And then I don't have to convince you that it's a good thing to text him before the next time you do."

"Right," Dean said just as sarcastically. "That was like twice. I've texted him much more than that!"

Sam's smirk widened impossibly further at that as he asked, "So you've been talking to him a lot, then?"

"Not that much," Dean argued. "Or maybe too much... I don't know. It depends on what time you ask me... Now go back to bed before I regret ever waking you up!"

Sam raised his hands in the universal signal of innocence and slowly backed out of the room, still grinning.

* * *

><p>The next morning Dean woke up to something licking his face.<p>

He forced his eyes open, terrified of what he would find since Sam didn't have any pets.

"What the hell, Gabe?" Dean asked when he found Gabe sitting on his bed holding a puppy towards his face.

"I got bored of waiting for you to wake up," Gabe said, pulling the puppy onto his lap and scratching its ears gently.

"So you went out and bought a dog to use as an alarm clock?" Dean hissed staring at the licking culprit in shock.

"Of course not, doofus," Gabe hissed back. "I broke into Sam's place with a dog and woke you up so we could wake him up on his birthday."

"You got him a dog?" Dean realized.

"Yes, now get out of bed so that we can wake him up before he wakes up by himself."

Dean got out of bed and quietly snuck into Sam's room with Gabe.

Sam was still dead asleep and Dean felt bad about the idea of waking Sam up twice within the course of five hours.

Of course he didn't feel bad enough to keep him from turning to Gabe and mouthing 'Three... two... one...'

Dean and Gabe jumped onto the bed at the same time yelling, "Happy birthday, Sammy!"

Sam's eyes shot open, causing the puppy to wriggle out of Gabe's arms and go sniff Sam's face.

"Hey, buddy," Sam said, petting the dog. "What are you doing here?"

"Well remember that whole deal where it's your birthday?" Gabe asked.

"You didn't," Sam said, shocked

"Oh, but I did," Gabe said with a grin.

"Seriously? That's awesome, Gabe," Sam said, beaming. "What's its name?"

"I don't know, Sammy," Gabe responded. "What are you naming him?"

"I think you should name him Dean," Dean suggested. "I mean it's a pretty solid name... Or you could name it Sasquatch after yourself..."

"Dean, he's a Boston Terrier," Sam responded.

"So? It'll be ironic. Right, Sasquatch?" Dean asked, while petting the little guy.

All three of the men were surprised when the dog barked happily at him.

"...Sasquatch," Sam repeated, causing the puppy to bark once again.

"I think he chose his own name," Gabe said with a grin.

Sam sighed, then admitted defeat, "Fine, we can name him Sasquatch."

Sasquatch's tail wagged happily, and Sam was sure that if Dean and Gabe had tails they would be wagging too.

* * *

><p>Gabe went to go get the toys and food he had gotten for Sasquatch from the car, while Sam went to go shower and get dressed.<p>

This left Dean carrying the little black and white puppy back to the couch.

As soon as Dean set him down, Sasquatch began running around excitedly, looking for something to play with. And of course the most interesting thing in the room would be Dean's already wrapped present.

"Hey," Dean shouted when Sasquatch began biting at the wrapping paper. "Stop it!"

Apparently Dean's voice had been a little too aggressive. As soon as he scooped up the little body, Sasquatch lost all bladder control.

"Oh come on," Dean said. "Uncle Dean is not a toilet."

Dean carried the little shaking dog to the back door, knowing that he wouldn't be able to stay mad at Sasquatch.

"Just do your business outside, okay?" Dean asked gently as he set the puppy down in the fenced backyard.

Dean sighed and went to go take a quick shower and change into some pee-free clothes.

* * *

><p>"I swear to god, Sam! He's doing it on purpose now!" Dean yelled angrily, just hours later. "He comes over to me specifically to piss all over me. Why doesn't he piss on either of you two? Seriously, Sammy. If I run out of clothes before your party I'm going naked."<p>

"Please don't," Sam begged.

"Whatever, I'm going to change into my sixth set of clothes for today," Dean grumbled as he left the room.

When Dean returned to the room he had planned on completely ignoring Sasquatch, no matter how adorable he may be. That plan was ruined the instant that Sasquatch nudged his little purple tennis ball towards Dean with his nose.

Dean sat down on the floor and began rolling the ball for Sasquatch to chase excitedly.

"So do you want to finish opening your present now? Sasquatch kind of started it for you," Dean said, gesturing towards the present.

Sasquatch gave a guilty look, then rolled up in a ball at Sam's feet.

Sam glared at Dean when he was passed the present, "Clown wrapping paper, seriously?"

Dean shrugged.

Sam petted Sasquatch's head and said, "Good dog. What a good boy you are, ripping up the clown paper."

Sasquatch began to lick his hand happily, while Dean glared at the dog like it was out to get him.

"Dude, you got me a new laptop?" Sam asked.

"Yeah, yours is all old and crappy," Dean responded.

"Sweet. Thanks, man," Sam responded.

* * *

><p>"Dean, no." Sam said sternly.<p>

"Come on, please," Dean begged. "You know I've just been so sad and maybe if you let me embarrass you by dancing like an idiot with Gabe, like we do every year... Then just _maybe_ I won't have to be so sad."

"Come on Sammy, I got you a dog," Gabe pouted. "The least you could do is let me make an ass out of myself with my best friend in front everyone you invited to your birthday."

"It'll be worse if you make us wait until we're drunk," Dean taunted.

"Fine," Sam sighed. "One song and one song only."

Dean and Gabe grinned, then high-fived each other excitedly.

Gabe turned the radio on, which began blasting Jason DeRulo's 'In My Head'.

Dean and Gabe began their embarrassing dance moves immediately.

There was the macarena, the funky chicken, the sprinkler, some head banging, a hell of a lot of pelvic thrusting, the running man, a lot of random flailing, air-guitaring, the robot, some shimmying.. Even the chicken dance found it's way into their moves.

As the song ended Gabe dipped Dean, who fell onto the floor. He didn't seem to mind though, judging by his hysterical laughter.

It wasn't until Dean stood back up that he noticed a pair of bright blue eyes staring at him from across the room.

Dean instantly headed for his brother, who was showing Sasquatch off to Ash and Jess.

"Sam. Kitchen. Now." Dean said, grabbing his brother's arm.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Please read and review! :D Thanks for reading, I hope that you liked this chapter as much as I liked writing it!**

**A super big special extra epical thank you goes out to the reviewers of last chapter: darkphoenix2345, dream bigger darling AE, EvilGeniusBookWorm13, Toulip Fontana, OragamiSauce, MesserMessa, kissacazador, firgodes7, Mirabilem Electo, and DeanlovesCas tricey03!**


	7. Everything Goes to Hell

"Sam what the hell did you do?" Dean hissed the instant they were in private.

"I don't know.. What did I do?" Asked a confused Sam.

"Okay, do _not_ play stupid," Dean whispered angrily. "You invited him and you know you did. How did you find out who to invite? Did you go through my phone? Or tell Gabe?"

"What are you t-" Sam began to ask.

"You know exactly what I'm talking about," Dean accused. "Otherwise Cas wouldn't be here right now."

That seemed to set off the light-bulb in Sam's brain.

"Wait a second, you like Cas?" Sam asked with a grin.

"No shit, Sherlock," Dean said, slapping his brother in the back of the head.

"Dean, I did invite Cas. But I didn't know that you like him," Sam whispered.

"Bullshit."

"I didn't. I didn't know he was in your class. I doubt he even knows were related," Sam began to explain. "Look, he works with me. I haven't talked to him that much, but he seems like a nice guy so I invited him... So you like Cas?"

"So you really didn't know?" Dean asked, beginning to believe his brother.

"I really didn't know," Sam reassured Dean. "So I guess you're the one who really got embarrassed by you and Gabe dancing."

"Shut up," Dean said, before leaving the kitchen to go find Ash or someone to talk to.

* * *

><p>As he was walking he heard a loud whistling next to him and turned towards the noise.<p>

"Gabe, did you just cat-call me?" Dean asked.

"Maybe," Gabe admitted. "You had your grumpy face on, thought maybe I could fix it."

"I did not have my grumpy face on," Dean argued. "I had my I'm-fucking-tired-thanks-to-sleep-deprivation-and- my-bed's-been-turned-back-into-a-couch-and-Sammy's -birthday-party's-going-on-so-I-can't-take-a-nap-f ace on."

"I think we're going to have to shorten that title," Gabe suggested. "Even the acronym would be way too long."

"I know, I almost choked to death saying it," Dean joked.

"Well would it helped if I slapped you across the face?" Gabe asked. "I think you would be much more awake then."

"Maybe, but I wouldn't advise trying it," Dean replied. "I might just end up bitch-slapping you back."

"Well then I'll just do this!" Gabe said, lunging towards Dean.

Gabe head-butted his friend in the stomach, knocking him to the ground.

"What the hell Gabe?" Dean asked, writhing under the other man's grip.

Gabe didn't release his grip on Dean, though. Instead he began to tickle the larger man's stomach.

Through hysterics, Dean managed to shout, "Damn you Gabe! ...Stop it!" Dean then began to, in a very manly fashion, start slapping at Gabe and pulling his hair. At this point he had entirely forgotten that he didn't want to look like an idiot in front of Cas. It was too late anyways.

"I didn't catch that? Can you repeat it?" Gabe asked, playing dumb.

Dean suddenly kicked Gabe in the stomach pushing him to the ground next to him.

"I said to stop fucking tickling me," Dean said, leaning over Gabe. "I would have preferred the bitch slap."

Dean went to stand up as Gabe did the same thing. They held a few seconds of glaring eye contact before Gabe slapped Dean hard across the face.

"You said that you wanted the slap," Gabe said innocently.

Dean immediately slapped Gabe, "I said I'd slap you back."

"Slappy fight or truce?" Gabe asked, completely seriously.

"Mmm.. I think slappy fight. Since you attacked me first and I got way less hits in," Dean replied, but gave him a look that meant he planned something completely different.

"Well alright then," Gabe responded. "3...2...1..."

"Attack!" Dean called, grabbing a shocked Sam by the arm.

Sam was on the ground being tickled on the floor before he understood what was happening.

"I hate you two!" Sam yelled, fighting for an impossible chance to escape.

"And we love you too, Gigantor," Dean taunted. "Did you really think that we were only going to embarrass you with our dancing."

"Even that was enough to deny being related to you, Dean," Sam said, finally breaking free.

"You know that I'm your favourite brother," Dean said with a smirk.

"You're my only brother," Sam said, glaring at him.

"Exactly, the favourite," Dean said with an immature grin.

* * *

><p>"Does this kind of thing happen a lot?" Cas asked the girl he was talking to.<p>

"Are you kidding me? Basically any time that Gabe and Dean are in the same room they find something to get into a slap fight about," Jo responded. "They're practically inseparable and most of the time end up acting like thirteen year-old girls."

* * *

><p>"I fixed your face," Gabe told Dean, referring to the grin spread across it.<p>

"If only someone could fix yours," Dean teased.

"Wasn't that joke a little obvious?" Gabe asked.

"Not when it's said to a sexy beast like you," Dean argued. "No one else could dare insult such a perfect face."

"That's what I thought," Gabe responded. "I think we need to form a truce. I know that we thought the world couldn't handle all of our sexiness, but the world will just have to suck it the fuck up."

"Agreed, truce," Dean responded. "What now? Food?"

"Definitely," Gabe agreed.

* * *

><p>Dean woke up to someone saying his name.<p>

"Cas?" He asked, opening his eyes.

"Do you usually fall asleep on the couch with a half-eaten pie at parties?" Cas asked.

"No, I usually finish the pie," Dean said, sitting up and putting the open pie box on the table next to the couch. "And this isn't just any couch. It's a sofa-bed. It's where I sleep. Welcome to my kingdom." With his last words, Dean made a grand gesture towards the couch cushions.

"You sleep on your brother's couch?" Cas asked, sitting down next to Dean.

"Uh-huh. I had my own place until I trashed it," Dean said, as if he was testing how much Dean the man could put up with.

"And why did you do that?" Cas asked.

"Well that's the million dollar question," Dean told him. "It's complicated to explain. Hell, I'm not even sure I know why."

"You confuse me," Cas told him. "You act so serious and troubled looking one minute, then childish the next."

"I am all serious and troubled," Dean responded. "Sometimes." Dean purposely shouted the next part loud enough for Gabe to hear, "And sometimes Gabe just can't keep his filthy paws off of me!"

Gabe winked at Dean from across the room then blew him a kiss.

Cas gave Dean a look, then asked, "So, are you and Gabe.."

"Oh no, not a chance," Dean responded. "Gabe's been in love with Sam for as long as I can remember, and Sammy's been hilariously oblivious. Me and Gabe are just friends. If Gabe and I dated, there's no way that we'd last. The moment that we get into an actual argument all hell breaks loose."

"What, you start scratching at each other's faces?" Cas asked jokingly. "Harming the merchandise?"

Dean raised an eyebrow at Cas and said, "That seems a little drastic. I can't be letting all of _this-_" Dean said sarcastically, while gesturing at his face. "Get ruined."

Sam came over then, carrying Sasquatch and mocking Dean by imitating his facial gesturing.

"What the hell are you talking about, Dean?" He asked.

"I was just showing Cas how you can barely tell that I'm wearing manscara," Dean responded.

"Yeah, I've been needing some tips on how much make-up to wear," Cas said, going along with the story. "I wouldn't want my drag queen alter ego looking like some kind of stripper."

"Well of course," Sam said with a smirk. As he passed Sasquatch to Dean, he whispered into his brother's ear, "Hates you, my ass."

Sasquatch immediately curled up in a ball on Dean's shoulder.

"Drag queen alter ego? What, is she named Cassandra?" Dean asked, turning back to Cas.

"Shut up, Deanna," Cas retorted with a smirk.

"Oh really? That's how it's going to go?" Dean asked. "Last time I checked I said _man_scara. I don't have a cross-dressing alter ego, just some lame goth-loser one. He goes by Liquid Corpse."

"Because that's much better," Cas said sarcastically.

"Well of course," Dean said matter-of-factly.

Gabe suddenly came over to the pair and asked Dean, "So you're letting the dog lay on you again? Don't you ever learn?"

"But he's all cute and sleepy. He's not going to do anything bad while he's asleep, right?" Dean asked.

As if on cue, Sasquatch woke up from the sound of Dean's voice and began to lick the man's face.

"Hey, stop it," Dean said pushing the dog off of his face, and consequently scaring it into releasing the contents of it's bladder all over him once again. "Dammit Gabe, you just had to get Sam a puppy. And you just had to remind him that he hadn't pissed on me enough lately."

Cas smirked a little, while trying not to laugh.

"It's not funny, we've had this dog one day and it's pissed on me like forty times. I'm not even kidding! And only on me. Not Sam, not Gabe, not the floor, just me," Dean said, then shoved the dog into Gabe's arms. "You take him. I have to go shower and change for the fortieth time today. That thing is like an endless fountain of urine!"

Once Dean had left, Gabe turned to Cas and said, "Sad thing is that he's barely exaggerating. You'd think he was a fire hydrant."

* * *

><p>Once Dean was out of the shower, he threw on a pair of boxers and pants, only to find that he had seriously run out of shirts. And Sam's room was on the other side of the living room, where the party was happening.<p>

Dean sighed, this was just freaking perfect. He had to borrow one of Sam's shirts. Which meant he had to cross the party shirtless. Which wouldn't have been such a big deal if he didn't have a big disgusting scar on his chest from the car accident. One that he didn't let people see.

The only two people that he ever let see it, other than doctors of course, were Sam and Gabe. And even letting them see took a long time to get used to. He thought that it was horrible and a constant reminder of the crash and his guilt, so he tried to avoid being shirtless as much as he could. Only he had no choice now.

Dean crossed his arms and checked the mirror to make sure that he was covering the scar, then began to nervously return to the party.

* * *

><p>"Dude where's your shirt?" Sam instantly asked when he entered the living room.<p>

"Sasquatch literally pissed on all of my shirts. Can I borrow something?" Dean asked impatiently.

"Yeah, sure," Sam responded.

Dean turned toward the hallway leading to Sam's room. It was only a few feet away, he had almost reached safety.

"Hey, Dean. What's that thing?" Ash asked, noticing an edge of the scar that Dean's arm had slipped away from covering.

Dean opened his mouth to say something, but it was too late. Ash had already grabbed his arm and was pulling it away from it's position on Dean's chest. Dean looked like a deer in the headlights as he stood in shock. Finally he slapped the hand and re-covered the scar, but not before everyone had seen it.

"Don't," Dean whispered, even though it was useless now.

"That's nasty, man. Is it from the crash?" Ash asked.

"Don't." Dean said more firmly this time, then turned for the hallway.

"Hey man, I was just-" Ash tried, making the mistake of grabbing Dean's arm.

"Well don't, okay?" Dean asked, turning around and releasing his wrath on Ash. He couldn't care less that it wasn't really Ash's fault. "Here's some ground rules. Don't grab me when I'm shirtless. And don't ask about my scar. Because, yeah, it is from the crash. And I _don't _want to talk about it!"

Dean stormed down the hallway and Ash turned to Sam, looking apologetic.

"Sorry Sam," Ash said, looking guilty. "I didn't know he'd go all..."

"Don't worry about it. The problem wasn't you. He just has this thing about it," Sam explained. "I'll go talk to him."

"Want me to go with you?" Ash offered.

"No, he'll just get all..." Sam trailed off. "I got it."

As Sam left the room, Jo pulled Gabe to the side to talk.

* * *

><p>When Sam entered his room he found an upset Dean laying on the bed, back to the door.<p>

"Dean, are you alright?" Sam asked.

"Yeah, I guess so," Dean muttered unconvincingly.

"Ash didn't mean to get you mad. He was just being.. Ash," Sam said gently, sitting down on the bed next to Dean.

"I know," Dean responded. "But I didn't want them seeing it. All of them saw the stupid scar, Sam."

"Yeah, but there's not really anything we can do now," Sam told him. "I doubt that they even think much of it-"

"Sure they do," Dean insisted. "It reminds them of the crash, then they all go into feel sorry for Dean mode. I don't want that. This party was supposed to be a distraction, not a reminder of how pathetic I am. And I can guarantee that they're talking about my stupid scar and my stupid freak-out right now. And if I go back, then they'll still be whispering about it and staring at me like a zoo animal. Like everybody did right after she died."

"Sow what do you want to do?" Sam asked. "Should I get you a shirt or are you going to hide out here."

"Stay here," Dean responded unhappily.

"Umm... Sam?" Cas said awkwardly, appearing in the doorway. "Sorry to interrupt, but something's up with Gabe. He was talking to Jo and then she left. Now he's kind of sitting against the wall and not responding to people.."

"It's fine, I got it," Sam answered, but before he could even finish the sentence Dean had flung himself off of the bed.

He quickly headed for the living room, seeming to completely forget about his scar and shirtlessness. Sam and Cas followed shortly behind.

* * *

><p>Dean found Gabe sitting in the corner of the room, seeming completely oblivious to the world around him.<p>

"Hey, Gabe?" Dean asked, sitting down next to his friend and wishing the others would back away. "What's up?"

Gabe suddenly blinked, then turned to Dean and whispered, "I need to talk to you. Alone."

"Sure. Come on, we'll go outside," Dean said, helping Gabe back up.

Dean kept his arm on Gabe's shoulder as he led him out the clear sliding doors. The pair sat down on the grass a few feet away from the door.

Before Dean could ask, Gabe began to explain.

"She's pregnant, Dean," Gabe began. "My baby sister's pregnant. And the father's that dick she claimed she was breaking up with last year."

"What did he say when she told him?" Dean asked.

"She didn't tell him yet. She's afraid to. Supposedly things have been better lately and she doesn't want to screw things up. She's afraid to tell him, Dean. What kind of guy does he have to be for her to be afraid to tell him?" Gabe asked. "And she just came here and dropped that bomb on me, then left. I have no idea what's going to happen."

Dean wrapped his arm tightly around the other man.

"It's going to be alright. Jo's a smart girl, she'll figure out," Dean assured him.

"Yeah, I guess so," Gabe said, sounding unconvinced as he wiped away the tears that had been threatening to fall. "So do you have anything fun to distract me?" Gabe let out a small chuckle.

"Well, I do. But _you_," Dean said, poking his friend gently in the stomach. "Aren't allowed to tell anyone after, okay?"

Gabe nodded his head.

"I kinda, sorta like Cas," Dean said quietly, while picking at the grass.

"I knew it," Gabe said with a grin. "Didn't I say there was-"

Dean slapped his hand over Gabe's mouth.

"You did say that there was sexual tension," Dean agreed in a whisper. "But he's also at this party, right inside the door. And they're probably watching us in a crowd. So do you mind being a little bit quieter?"

"Sorry," Gabe whispered.

"It's alright," Dean told him, removing his hand. "There's a whole story to explain to you. But first: Do you want me to get Sam? The party's pretty much declared dead now anyways."

"Okay," Gabe agreed.

Dean and Gabe entered the house and Dean whispered something to Sam.

Dean and Gabe waited in Sam's room and within five minutes the party had cleared out and Sam had joined them.

Sam was filled in on Jo's pregnancy, then Gabe was filled in on all of the details of the Cas story. After a while all three men fell asleep laying together on Sam's bed.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Please read and review! Thanks for reading, and... Look at me! I updated all quick like! :O**

**Major props to the super awesome-sauce people who reviewed last chapter: Toulip Fontana, dream bigger darling AE, Adja, rowsdowersavesus, KayeleeHope, darkphoenix2345, curiumKingyo, EvilGeniusBookWorm13, kissacazador, and Mirabilem Electo!**


	8. Things That Can't Be Undone

Dean woke up, quietly whimpering, at sometime around three in the morning to find himself in Sam's bed. Gabe was laying between the two brothers.

Dean sat up, planning on waking up Sam.

He deserted the plan the instant that he saw how Sam and Gabe had moved in their sleep. Sam was now holding Gabe protectively to his chest, while Gabe was all snuggled up to him.

Dean smirked, then laid back down to attempt to fall back asleep.

* * *

><p>The next morning Castiel woke up with a huge grin slathered on his face.<p>

He quickly turned to his clock and shut off the alarm he had set for 5:45 am.

Something was wrong. He shouldn't be smiling like that. Not because of his dream. Not because dream Dean had claimed to be the texter. Because Cas couldn't like Dean. He just couldn't.

_Maybe _Dean was alright to hang out with at one party.. And _maybe _he had been funny.. And _maybe _it was cute the way that he acted with Gabe.. And _maybe _he liked something about the mystery.. And _maybe _he had noticed the way Dean's wet hair had clung to his face.. And _maybe_ he had noticed Dean's muscular torso while looking at the scar.. And _maybe_ he had been almost jealous of Gabe when Dean had run to comfort him, forgetting about his embarrassment over the scar.. And _maybe_ he had payed a little bit too much attention to Dean holding Gabe outside.. And _maybe_ he had been amazed at how Dean had found some way to make Gabe smile, when moments before he had looked close to tears.. And _maybe, just maybe_ he had wanted to hug Dean better when he was hiding in Sam's room..

Dammit! Maybe he does like Dean... Okay, maybe he definitely likes Dean.. But doesn't he like Mystery Texter too? And Dean could never like him.

And Dean could never be the Mystery Texter... Sure, maybe he has a brother, like the texter. But that's not exactly uncommon. And maybe when Cas had asked if he was dating Gabe, Dean had responded a little too quickly. And he had made it abundantly clear that it would never happen, yet never said anything about not liking guys. But, as Cas had found out from Jess at the party, Dean had lost his wife in a car crash around a year ago. _Wife_, not husband...

_But maybe he's bi,_ Shouted a small voice in Cas's head, which he instantly decided to ignore. It was ridiculous to even be considering it.

Cas sighed and grabbed his phone as a distraction.

* * *

><p>Dean woke up once again, this time to the sound of his phone ding-a-linging.<p>

As he grabbed his phone, he heard Sam sleepily ask, "Is that Cas?"

* * *

><p><strong>From Cas:<strong>

_Good morning._

* * *

><p>"Maybe," Dean said, although his tone made it obvious that it was.<p>

"It's not even six yet," Gabe murmured. "He texts you this early?"

"Not usually," Dean responded.

"My alarm doesn't even go off for another.." Sam began, turning to check the clock. "Shit, I didn't set it last night.. I would have been late for work.."

* * *

><p>When Cas received a text back, he couldn't keep himself from imagining it was Dean texting him. He had gotten himself into a bad mess with this..<p>

* * *

><p><strong>From Dean:<strong>

_You're already up at like quarter to six? What are you, some kind of crazy morning person?_

**From Cas:**

_Apparently. And worse than that, I'm one of those crazy morning people who assumes that everyone else gets up at the same ridiculous time as them._

_Sorry I woke you up._

**From Dean:**

_It's fine. I forgot to set the alarm anyways. And I wasn't exactly having a fun dream.._

**From Cas:**

_So I picked a good morning to be annoying, then?_

**From Dean:**

_Exactly. You couldn't have picked a better one._

* * *

><p>"So what are you guys talking about?" Gabe asked nosily.<p>

"How you two were cuddling in your sleep last night," Dean responded jokingly. "Nothing really."

Sam's face turned fire-truck red as he moved his arms off of Gabe's waist and lower back. He acted as though he hadn't even noticed the position that he had woken up in, and certainly didn't mention how comfortable he had been.

Gabe turned a much lighter shade of crimson, then rolled off of Sam's chest and onto Dean's so that he could read the conversation.

"And I wondered why Cas asked if we're together," Dean muttered as he pushed Gabe back into the space beside him.

"He asked what?" Sam asked, excitedly sitting up and grinning like The Cheshire Cat.

"If I was with Gabe," Dean said, shooting his brother a 'what-the-hell-kind-of-drug-are-you-on' look. "So?"

"Soo, my adorable little socially awkward penguin," Gabe cut in. "Not only was he checking if you're in a relationship, he was checking if you're in a relationship with _a guy_. That boy totally likes you."

"No he doesn't, he was probably wondering why you were cat-calling me and why we were wrestling on the floor," Dean responded.

"Well what did you say when he asked, and how did he react?" Sam asked.

"God, you are such a chick," Dean complained, earning him a major bitch-face. "I don't know.. I think I said something about why me and Gabe would make a terrible couple or something like that."

"But you didn't say anything about me being a guy in your reasons?" Gabe asked.

"No, why would I?" Dean asked.

"Good." Gabe replied, ignoring Dean's question. "What did he say after? And did he look relieved, or happy, or indifferent, or...?"

Dean rolled his eyes before saying, "He made a joke about my face."

"What kind of joke?" Gabe asked.

"Does it matter?"

"Yes!" Sam and Gabe said in perfect synchronization.

"When I answered I also said something about how we wouldn't work because all hell breaks loose when we actually argue," Dean explained. "He asked if we start scratching up each other's faces and harming the merchandise."

"So he thinks your face is worth something," Sam pointed out.

"You guys are so incredibly reaching," Dean responded. "He doesn't like me and he never will so just back off."

"Then why are you still texting him?" Gabe challenged. "If you really believe that, then give me the phone. I'll send him a text explaining that there's no point in him ever meeting you, or finding out who you are, or continuing to text you. About how he would never like you, so he'd better move on and stop texting you. Problem solved."

Dean gave Gabe the finger before leaving the bedroom with his phone clutched to his chest.

"Hundred bucks says they get married," Gabe whispered.

"That'd require Dean ever growing the balls to tell him," Sam whispered back. "He's been getting better since he started texting Cas. Dean is never going to risk losing his life jacket, no matter how much we push him. I don't understand how anyone could just settle for sitting around like that. Always in the person's life, but never telling them how they _really _feel. That has to be worse than rejection. It amazes me that Dean could be so incredibly self-centered."

"Self-centered?" Gabe asked. He had been playing the friend for Sam for a long time and he didn't think that he was being self-centered, he was guarding Sam from the awkwardness that would occur if he ever told him... Right? And if he wasn't being self-centered, then neither was Dean.

"He's not even giving Cas a chance. He just assumes that Cas would hate him, or reject him, or decide that he's suddenly too good for the texting guy as soon as he can put Dean's face to the words. And he isn't just throwing away his chance at happiness. What if Cas and Dean are supposed to be together? He could just be throwing out Cas's chance at happiness too."

Without thinking Gabe rolled back onto Sam's chest and kissed him hard.

* * *

><p>"Look what I fou-" Dean started to say as he re-entered the room carrying Sasquatch. He froze mid-word at the sight of Gabe and Sam on the bed. "-nd.. About damn time Gabe."<p>

Gabe instantly rolled as far away from Sam as he could, Sam laid still in shock. Both had beet-red faces.

"Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit," Gabe began to mutter. "What the hell did I just do?"

"You know what you did, you dog," Dean said with a grin. He was enjoying walking in on his brother making out with someone way too much.

"Shut up, Dean," Gabe hissed as he pushed past his friend.

"Gabe, hold on!" Sam called out, sitting up as the shock began to wear off.

The door slammed shut.

"What the hell just happened?" Sam shouted out as if Gabe were still there to answer. He fell back onto the pillow in exasperation, "Way to go, Dean. You and your stupid jokes helped so much."

"What'd I do? And how did he go from trying to steal my phone to making out with you?" Dean asked.

"That's what I'd like to know," Sam responded.

"Well what were you guys talking about?" Dean asked with a smirk. "And how did he react to the conversation..? You know before he got to the kissing."

Sam rolled his eyes and mimicked his brother, "You are such a chick."

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Please read and review! I'll try to have the next chapter up quick, but thanks for waiting for this one. :)**

**Uber big thanks to the reviewers of last chapter: KayeleeHope, Mirabilem Electo, Toulip Fontana, EvilGeniusBookWorm13, dream bigger darling AE, kissacazador, Adja, firgodes7, kittenguts, the lovelybuttercup, Rock-Salt-Gun, and roxxroj :D :D :D**


	9. Avoidance

"And then you showed up and refused to shut up until you scared him off," Sam finished his story.

"Okay, first off: this is not my fault. I take the guilt for a lot of shit that I'm very questionably responsible for, but I am absolutely _not _to blame for this," Dean told his brother. "And second: you are a major dumb-ass."

"Why?" Sam asked, shooting Dean a bitch-face.

"You honestly don't understand why that just happened?" Dean asked skeptically.

"I honestly don't. If you do, then why the hell don't you explain?" Sam asked.

"I can't believe that you still haven't figured it out," Dean said, dragging his hand across his smirking face. "Gabe has been in love with you for god knows how long-"

"No, he hasn't," Sam cut in.

"_Yes, he has,_" Dean emphasized. "That's why your 'how could anyone be happy in the friend-zone' speech ended with Gabe kissing you."

"Shut up." Sam repeated through gritted teeth.

"Did you kiss him back?" Dean asked excitedly.

"I said shut up!"

"You did, didn't you?"

"Dean, go away. I have to get ready for work." Sam said exasperatedly.

"Fine," Dean said raising his hands in a sign of innocence. "Maybe Gabe will be nice to me. But, you know, not as nice as he is to you."

Dean winked as Sam glared at him.

"Okay, I'm done," Dean said, exiting the room. "I'll leave."

* * *

><p><em>Knock. Knock. Knock.<em>

"I know you're in there."

_Knock. Knock. Knock._

"Gabe, open the door or I'll kick it down!"

There was a click as the door was slowly opened. Gabe glared at Dean, then retreated into his apartment with the door left open.

Dean took this as an invitation and followed his friend inside.

"He hates me, doesn't he?" Gabe asked sullenly.

"No, he doesn't," Dean answered. "It's Sam. Do you honestly think that you can get rid of him that easily. If you just go talk to him-"

"No. I can't," Gabe interrupted. "I made some stupid mistake and I'm not bothering him and making things even more awkward unless he comes and tells me himself that he can get past this."

"So what, you're just throwing out your entire friendship? Nice, Gabe. Real fucking nice," Dean said rolling his eyes.

"That is not fair," Gabe retorted angrily.

"No, it's not," Dean said judgmentally. "And you can't just avoid him for the rest of your life, he's my brother. I live at his place, for god's sakes!"

"Just leave me alone," Gabe said in a tone of self-pity.

"No, as your best friend it is my job to talk some sense into you. Even when you don't want to hear what I have to say," Dean insisted.

"Actually no, it isn't." Gabe argued. "You're supposed to make me feel better, tell me that I didn't just make a complete idiot out of myself."

"You didn't make a complete idiot out of yourself," Dean told him. "You finally manned up and kissed him. That's not stupid, that's braver than I am.. And okay, maybe a little dumb kissing your straight friend... But you'd be a complete idiot if you let that ruin everything. If you just decided to ignore him from now on just to avoid a little awkwardness."

"Yeah, but it would be more than a little awkwardness," Gabe responded. "It's not like I accidentally ruined his favourite shirt or lost one of his books. I kissed him after he made a speech about the friend zone. There's no getting out of this easy."

"From what I remember there was no getting out of those things easy either," Dean argued. "But he got over it and you two were fine again. And now they're being used as examples of easy arguments to get out of."

"Because this is so much worse," Gabe insisted.

"No, because now that they're over, those fights seemed so pointless. How do you know that this won't end up being like that?" Dean asserted.

"I'm sure that this isn't," Gabe replied. "Look, can you just go?"

"That depends, are you mad at me?" Dean asked.

"No," Gabe answered honestly.

"Good, then I'm gone," Dean said, leaving Gabe on his own.

The door shut and Gabe whispered, "I'm just mad at myself."

* * *

><p>Cas was sitting in his office, wondering what he was going to do about his ridiculous feelings about Dean, when his phone vibrated in his pocket.<p>

* * *

><p><strong>From Anna:<strong>

_Do you want to do something after you get off work?_

**From Cas:**

_What were you thinking of?_

**From Anna:**

_Well I know that you'll refuse anything fun that I offer, so you decide._

**From Cas:**

_I will not refuse anything fun._

**From Anna:**

_Then how about the bar?_

**From Cas:**

_On a Monday night?_

**From Anna:**

_Buzzkill._

**From Cas:**

_How am I a buzzkill just because I don't enjoy the idea of being hungover at work tomorrow?_

**From Anna:**

_Ugh, how about a movie?_

**From Cas:**

_Sure, but I still don't understand how I'm a buzzkill._

**From Anna:**

_Buzzkills never do._

* * *

><p>Cas glared down at his phone for a few minutes, then resumed his work. About ten minutes later, his phone buzzed again.<p>

* * *

><p><strong>From Dean:<strong>

_Today has turned into total suckage._

**From Cas:**

_What happened?_

**From Dean:**

_I'm stuck in the middle of some stupid drama and now nobody wants to talk to me._

**From Cas:**

_I do._

**From Dean:**

_Thank you, Mr. Cheesy-Pants._

**From Cas:**

_No problem, it's true._

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Read and review please! Sorry this chapter is so short and took so long! School's almost over, so I should have more time soon :) Thanks for reading everyone!**

**A infinitely big thanks goes out to the reviewers of last chapter: Mirabilem Electo, darkphoenix2345, nonsolumsedetiam, DreamBiggerDarlngAE, EvilGeniusBookWorm13, kissacazador, firgodes7, kittenguts, Serethiel96, and Destiel lover  
><strong>


	10. Anniversary

That Saturday, Dean woke up feeling like a pile of crap.

The night before his nightmare had been different. Lisa wasn't the only other one in the car, Cas had been there too. And Dean had been the only one who had survived.

Dean returned to his old morning schedule, as he forced himself to get up and robotically go through the process of getting ready.

* * *

><p>After his shower he threw on the first clothes he could find before heading into the kitchen.<p>

Sam was already there, eyes filled with concern.

"Dean-" Sam said, his voice gentle like the smallest thing could break his brother.

"Don't," Dean said, grabbing a pack of strawberry flavoured Pop Tarts, then heading for the door. "Just don't."

* * *

><p>When Dean entered his car he just sat there for a few minutes, talking himself into sticking the key in the ignition.<p>

Finally, with a sudden burst of bravery, Dean started the car and began to cautiously drive to work.

* * *

><p>When Dean reached the parking lot, he spotted Gabe leaning against his car. No doubt he had been waiting for Dean to arrive.<p>

Dean sighed and got out of the car.

"I still think that you should have taken today off work," Gabe pointed out.

"Why? So that I could lay around at home constantly replaying it in my head over and over?" Dean asked. "I'd rather come here and try to distract myself for an hour."

"Why don't you stay at my place tonight and we can get wasted?" Gabe suggested.

"Like the idiot who was driving the other car a year ago today?" Dean asked. "No offense, but someone getting wasted and me coming to your place didn't work out so well then. I think I'm going to pass."

Gabe didn't know what to do other than nod his head and follow Dean inside.

As Dean entered the classroom he froze in place, a memory taking over his brain.

* * *

><p><em>"Come on, you have to take the job!" Lisa insisted.<em>

_"I don't know.." Dean hesitated._

_"Yes you do," Lisa said with a grin. "Come on, you could be the cool, hot, young teacher that everyone likes. Or, if you don't like someone, then you could go all grouchy one year from retirement attitude on them."_

_Dean chuckled a little as he watched his wife get so excited._

_"And haven't you ever wanted your own classroom?" Lisa asked._

_"You know, most people don't dream of their own classrooms, Mrs. Winchester," Dean told her._

_"They do after they go through my kindergarten class," Lisa told him, before leaning in to kiss him._

_"Well I guess that I just didn't get the right teacher," Dean said before scooping her legs out from beneath her._

_Lisa giggled before asking, "What do you think that you're doing, you goof?"_

_"Carrying my genius wife to the bedroom, of course," Dean said, kissing her hard on the lips before beginning to walk towards their bedroom._

* * *

><p>"Dean," Gabe said, snapping Dean back into reality.<p>

Dean wordlessly walked towards his desk. Maybe coming to work hadn't been the greatest idea.

Dean assigned the class a writing project, figuring that he couldn't handle trying to teach a lesson today.

Throughout the class he sat there spacily, only feeding Gabe's ever-growing concern.

* * *

><p>Once class was over, Gabe came over and asked, "Are you sure that you don't want to come over?"<p>

"Yeah. I'd ask you to come over, but you're chief in charge of avoiding Sam," Dean said before getting out of the desk and leaving.

That sent a pang of guilt through Gabe.

When Dean reached the car, he once again psyched himself up to start it. He knew that this was probably the day that he was least likely to get into some freak car accident, yet he was still much more nervous about driving than on any other day.

* * *

><p>When he got back home, or rather back to Sam's house, Sam was just sitting there waiting for him.<p>

"Do you want to talk about it?" Sam asked.

"No, I don't. I want people to stop acting like today is different than any other day, to stop walking on eggshells around me," Dean answered angrily.

"But it is different than any other day," Sam insisted. "This has to be brutal on you."

"Thanks for pointing it out, that really helps," Dean sarcastically. "Why can't you just go back to sulking over Gabe like you have been all week?"

Sam sat there silently.

"What happened to "I'm so stupid", "He must hate me now", "I should have figured things out sooner", "It's not fair that I figured out how I feel after he stopped talking to me", "No, Dean I can't just go talk to him"?" Dean asked, taking quotes from several conversations that they'd had in the last few days.

Sam didn't say a word.

"I'm going out," Dean said, deciding that he couldn't stand Sam giving him that pitying look for any longer.

"Where are you going?" Sam asked.

"Gabe's."

* * *

><p>Dean talked himself into starting the car once again, then began to drive. But not to Gabe's.<p>

* * *

><p>Gabe had been sitting at home feeling guilty for about an hour, when he finally came to a decision. He needed to be there for his friend today, no matter how awkward things may be between him and Sam.<p>

* * *

><p>"Gabe?" Sam asked as he opened the door. "What are you doing here?"<p>

"I came to see Dean," Gabe replied. "He didn't seem like he was handling things too well this morning."

"He told me he was at your place," Sam said.

"And he told me he was here," Gabe said exasperatedly. "What is he? A teenage girl going to a party?" Although he was making a joke, concern clearly filled his voice.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Please read and review! Thanks for reading. :D**

**A gigantor thanks goes out to the reviewers of last chapter: OragamiSauce, rowsdowersavesus, Dream Bigger Darling AE, michaelfanfic, darkphoenix2345, EvilGeniusBookWorm13, and nonsolumsedetiam**


	11. Bad Decisions

Dean had turned his phone on silent, he didn't need Sam texting and calling to check up on him every two seconds. He needed to clear his head.

His impulses steered the car as he drove. He would drive straight until he felt a sudden need to turn onto a different street, then repeat the process.

This continued until he found himself at the cemetery where Lisa was buried. He wasn't even sure how he had gotten there, he must have taken some strange round-about route.

Dean parked the car and headed to her grave.

He sat leaning against the back of her tombstone and for the first time that day, Dean let a tear stream down his face.

"I don't know how I'm supposed to do this without you, Lis," Dean admitted. "This year has been so ridiculously damn hard without you."

Dean had been able to prevent himself from crying in front of other people, but now that he was alone with Lisa he couldn't stop the tears from falling.

* * *

><p>"So... Uh.." Sam said awkwardly as he sat in his living room with Gabe.<p>

"Do we call him?" Gabe asked. "Or would he just get pissed?"

"..I don't know," Sam replied, risking looking up and temporarily holding eye contact. "I still can't figure out if he's off doing something stupid or just Parent Trapping us."

"My money's on both," Gabe responded. "But maybe not, maybe he'll come back soon.."

* * *

><p><em>Dean felt his car being thrown sideways as glass shattered everywhere.<em>

_"Lisa?" He whispered, that damn air bag stifling his attempts to turn and check on her.._

_"Dean," Lisa's voice was weak and panicked._

_"You okay?" Dean asked._

_She was eerily silent. All Dean could hear was Gabe yelling to them from somewhere. He didn't care, he was too busy fighting the airbag._

_He managed to turn, to find his wife in a sickening condition. Her airbag hadn't gone off, he didn't think that she was breathing._

_Tears covered Dean's face as panic covered his mind._

_Suddenly Lisa's battered body sat up. Only this time it was healing. And Dean wasn't positive, but he was pretty sure that her skin was literally glowing._

_"Lisa? What's happening?" Dean asked._

_"Dean," She replied, smiling as she gently placed one hand on his cheek. "It wasn't your fault."_

_"But I made you go to Gabe's and I was driving and-" Dean began to babble hysterically._

_"Shhh," Lisa said, pressing a finger to his lips. "It wasn't your fault. You need to let go of your guilt. And let go of me."_

_"No. Never-" Dean argued_

_"Let go," Lisa insisted._

_"I can't."_

_"You have to," Lisa told him._

_"There's no way that I'm ever going to let myself let go of you or forget you, Lis."_

_"You don't have to forget me. I just need you to accept that I'm not coming back. And at some point you're going to have to move on." Lisa whispered. She pressed her lips gently against his. "Please, do it for me,"_

* * *

><p>Dean woke up, still in the graveyard. He just sat there for several minutes, his brain struggling to process the dream.<p>

He wanted to talk to someone; needed to talk to someone. The only problem was that he really didn't have anyone to talk to. Sure, he could go find Sam or Gabe, but he really did not want to go back and look at their stupid pitying faces.

Dean got up and headed to his car, he had no idea what he was going to do.

When he sat down in the car, he pulled his phone out. He flicked through his contact list four times, trying to find someone he would be willing to talk to. Someone who would be willing to listen to him. He scrolled through his contact list a few more times, then froze on the only name that fit his criteria.

He stared at the screen where Cas's name sat, highlighted in blue. It was as if he was having some intense staring contest with the name.

After a few minutes, the screen went dark. Dean sighed, then threw his phone at the opposite door. It bounced and slid across the leather seat all the way back to his leg.

Dean pressed his face against the steering wheel and desperately tried to think this through.

_He couldn't really text Cas about his shitty day and all of it's drama. Or about his dream. Cas didn't know who he was. And even if Dean told him, and even if by some one in a million chance Cas actually still liked him, he still couldn't go bitch to the guy he liked about his dead wife._

"Well then what _are_ you going to do?" Dean growled at himself, pulling his face off of the steering wheel. He stared down at his phone as if it somehow it knew the answer.

* * *

><p>"That's it, I'm calling him," Sam decided after a very long and very awkward amount of time.<p>

Gabe was relieved, they had been sitting in silence for what felt like forever. Awkward small talk had run out long ago.

The screen suddenly lit up.

Dean grabbed at the phone like it was a life-line. He felt a rush of disappointment when he saw that it was just Sam calling. He hit the ignore button and in a surge of bravery opened up a new text to Cas. His fingers swiftly typed the words and hit send button before his brain could kick in.

"Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit!" Dean began to chant as soon as the 'message sent' icon appeared. "Unsend! Unsend, dammit! Why the hell is there no unsend button?"

* * *

><p>Cas and Anna were in the middle of watching Cas's dvd of Sherlock Holmes, when his phone loudly beeped.<p>

"Is that him?" Anna asked with a smirk.

Cas ignored her and just opened up the text.

"It's about time that he texted you," Anna continued. "He's been quiet all day."

Cas just stared at his phone in silence.

"What's with you?" Anna asked, playfully kicking him in the leg. "Usually by now you'd be halfway through lecturing me."

Cas rapidly began texting back.

* * *

><p><strong>From Dean:<strong>

_I need to talk to someone, can I come over?_

**From Cas:**

_Sure._

**From Dean:**

_Can I get an address? I know I'm creepy, but I'm not that creepy._

* * *

><p>"Hey," Anna said, slapping Cas in the back of the head.<p>

"Ow." Cas said, snapping back into the world that exists outside of his phone.

"What's going on?" Anna asked.

"You have to leave," Cas stated as he quickly sent his address.

"Like hell I do," Anna argued.

"He's coming over," Cas explained.

"Well then I'll talk to you tomorrow," Anna said getting off of the couch. "When you'll tell me who it is and what happened."

"If agreeing makes you leave," Cas agreed.

* * *

><p>Dean read the address then put his phone back in his pocket and began to drive.<p>

There was no turning back now. Right?

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Please read and review! I hope that you enjoyed the chapter! Thanks for reading :D**

**A super extra giant jumbo-sized thanks goes out to the reviewers of the last chapter who helped me reach more than 100 reviews!: Mirabilem Electo, darkphoenix2345, DreamBiggerDarlingAE, Serethiel96, Destiel lover, EvilGeniusBookWorm13, nonsolumsedetiam, RecklessStereo, kissacazador, LoriLovesDestiel, ChrisMeLove, thelovelybuttercup, destielship101, and michaelfanfic**


	12. Finding Out

"Maybe we should try calling him again," Sam suggested. "I mean, maybe he just hadn't heard his phone."

"Yeah, maybe," Gabe said, sounding a little doubtful. But his doubt didn't matter, though. Gabe was just glad that Sam was still focused on the topic of Dean instead of that time that Gabe had ambushed him with a kiss.

"You have reached the voice-mail of-" A robotic woman's voice informed Sam.

"Dean Winchester," Dean's pre-recorded voice said, filling in the blank.

"Please leave a message after the beep," The robot woman finished.

"Look, Dean. If you get this, then just please call me. I know that you're not with Gabe and I'm afraid that you're going to go out and do something stupid and end up getting yourself hurt. Just please, call me back," Sam begged, then sighed into the phone before closing it.

* * *

><p>Meanwhile Dean was nervously driving, on his way to Cas's place. As he began to drive, gloomy clouds began to overtake the sky. Within minutes it was full-out pouring.<p>

Dean's phone still sat in his pocket, on silent. He didn't at all notice Sam's call or message.

After stopping his car in the parking lot of Cas's apartment building, Dean just sat in the car, wondering what the hell he had been thinking when he had decided to come here.

But could he really stand to turn back now, knowing that he had been so close to knowing what Cas's reaction would be. Knowing that he had been so close to Cas's apartment. Knowing that he had ignored the one person who he had wanted to talk to, who just so happened to have agreed to let him (or mystery texter him, rather) come over.

No, Dean suddenly decided with a burst of energy. No. That was most certainly not something he was willing to do after making it this far.

With a sudden rush of adrenaline, Dean threw his car door open and stepped out into the downpour.

It was really, really pouring now and the rain was incredibly cold. He wondered how he ever could have been stupid enough to leave his jacket at home.

As he ran across the parking lot, he felt a pattern of goosebumps forming on his forearms.

Why was the only door so damn far away from the parking lot? Dean wondered to himself. Dean was sure that he must be imagining it due to the rain and his anticipation. In all reality it must have really only taken him a few seconds to reach the door.

He opened the door for a kind-looking old lady, who was carrying a large grocery bag, and followed her in. He felt his newly soaked hair clinging to his face, but ignored it as he began to climb up the stairs to the third floor. Up to Castiel Novak's floor.

Dean headed down the hallway and stopped in front of the door mark '308'. This was Castiel Novak's door. And he was about to knock on it. What the hell was he thinking?

Dean awkwardly stood there in the hallway, regretting his decision to come here and trying to work up the nerve to knock on the damn door.

Suddenly he heard a door opening a little ways down the hall and quickly made the decision not to be the random creepy guy lingering outside of 308. Dean took one large inhale, then knocked on the door.

The few seconds that Dean waited for Cas to answer the door, felt like an eternity in hell to him.

But that didn't even compare to the hell that Cas had felt ever since Dean had sent the text asking if he could come over. Cas had been forced to sit there, waiting through those torturous minutes. His brain had been constantly working to over-analyze everything and try to deduce who would end up walking through his apartment door.

His mind played through several different scenarios, some where he ended up with the worst of the worst, Crowley. He knew that it wasn't particularly fair to assume that it would be horrible if Crowley was the mystery texter. After all, it wouldn't change the content of the messages. But he had overheard some of Crowley's conversations in class, which he desperately wished that he could unhear. The kind of thing that made a guy stand out, just not in a good way.

In other scenarios, Dean would show up. But each time Cas's brain reached him opening the door to see Dean, it froze up and decided that it was too ridiculous to even consider getting his hopes up.

And the absolute worst scenario was no one showing up. Castiel could see himself sitting around all night, still holding onto that slim hope that the mystery texter would show up eventually. That something had just happened to delay him; such as a flat tire, or an emergency. But in these scenarios no one ever did show up, and most of them ended with him imagining Dean sitting on his sofa-bed smirking to Gabe and laughing at how dumb Cas had been for actually expecting someone to show up at his door.

Cas was pulled out of these thoughts, before he could completely be classified as crazy, by a knocking at the door.

This was it, the moment of the final reveal. What he had been hoping and waiting for during the last few weeks, which had felt like a lifetime to Cas.

_Or it was loony old Mr. Reese from down the hall coming to yell at you for 'stealing his pigeons' again_, Cas thought to himself as he got up off of the couch.

He wanted to full force run to the door, but he decided to spare himself the slightest dignity by forcing himself to 'casually' walking to the door.

However, when he reached it, he couldn't help but full-force whip the door open.

Dean looked startled at how suddenly the door had opened. The shock in his eyes looked so innocent. He stood there with red-rimmed eyes, soaked clothes and hair, Dean Winchester. It really had been Dean, and now he was standing in Cas's doorway looking so incredibly nervous as he slightly fidgeted, while his eyes darted up to meet Cas's then back down to the floor over and over.

Cas could hardly believe that he wasn't dreaming. But he knew he wasn't, there was something so innocent about the way that Dean was acting so needlessly nervous, that Cas could never have created in his mind.

"Dean." Cas finally stated, after what felt like ages to each (in all reality it had been about thirty seconds).

"Yeah." Dean responded stupidly, he didn't know what else he was supposed to say.

Cas still just stood there, staring at him with those goddamn gorgeous bright blue eyes. How had Dean not noticed those eyes the instant that he saw Cas during his first class? How could he possibly have ignored that?

"I have to go.. I- I should go-" Dean suddenly blurted out, moving to turn away from Cas and the doorway and all of his hopes of acceptance.

"No!" Cas replied, a little too fast and a little too energetically. "You can't just show up like this and then run off."

"No, I should go," Dean responded, coming back to his senses. Why had he ever thought this could even possibly turn out well? "You probably don't want me here, I really should go."

Dean turned to escape down the hallway once again, but this time Cas grabbed his shoulder and turned him around.

"Why wouldn't I want you here?" Cas asked, his head tilting ever so slightly in an oh-so adorable way. "What could possibly make you think that?"  
>"So you want me here?" Dean asked skeptically, the words coming out slowly as if he weren't sure that they were even successfully forming a sentence.<p>

Cas felt his heart beat quicken as he responded, "Yes... Yes, I do."

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Please read and review! You guys are amazing, thank you so much for reading! I really hope that you enjoyed the update :)**

**A Jolly-Green Giant sized THANK YOU goes out to all the reviewers of last chapter: Tam1979, lilybookworm, LoriLovesDestiel, Dragonryder94, RecklessStereo, Casismyfavorite, kissacazador, Eve Lovelorn, Mirabilem Electo, EvilGeniusBookWorm13, Luciel89, sonicangelblade, darkphoenix2345, firgodes7, and Destiel lover  
><strong>

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	13. Come On In

**ATTENTION ALL SUPERNATURAL FANFIC WRITING ENTHUSIASTS! I HAVE CREATED A NEW FORUM FOR A MONTHLY SUPERNATURAL FANFICTION WRITING CONTEST! IF YOU ARE INTERESTED PLEASE VISIT THE LINK AT THE TOP OF MY PROFILE PAGE! PLEASE CONSIDER ENTERING! WE'VE JUST PUT OUR FIRST CONTEST UP! :D**

* * *

><p>"Come inside," Cas insisted.<p>

Dean followed Cas through the door, feeling bad that he was dripping on the floor.

Cas suddenly turned and walked into a different room.

Dean stood awkwardly, just inside the door of the apartment, wondering whether he was supposed to follow or not.

"Here," Cas said, throwing a pair of sweat-pants, a dry t-shirt, and a towel towards Dean.

Dean felt awkward with the idea of changing into Cas's clothes five seconds after showing up, but at the same time he really didn't want to be wearing his own wet ones.

"Thanks," Dean replied.

Cas gave Dean directions to the bathroom and Dean instantly followed them.

After quickly changing and attempting to towel off his hair, he exited the washroom. He had left the towel and his wet clothes in the washroom, figuring that it would be weird to walk out carrying them.

The clothes actually fit pretty damn well, and Dean would be lying if he said that they weren't comfy.

Cas was sitting on the couch waiting for Dean, when he reentered the living room. Dean went over and joined him.

"Talk." Cas simply said.

That's it? Dean thought to himself. I ask if I can come over because I need someone to talk to and you give me dry clothes and then just tell me to talk? Without bringing up the fact that I just fricken' revealed who I am to you?

"The story's kind of filled with a bunch of confusing things that require their own stories," Dean told him, suddenly feeling less certain about this idea.

"I've got time," Cas replied.

"Alright. I don't really know how to say any of this without sounding like a complete idiot, but here we go," Dean said, taking a deep breath before beginning.

He told Cas all about the night that Lisa had died, then all about the guilt that had driven him crazy and all of the horrible feelings that today brought up. And then he told Cas of how he had gone to the cemetery and fallen asleep (excluding the part about his dream), and how when he had woken up he had wanted to talk to someone about it and how the only person that he really wanted to talk about it with was Cas.

"And besides that, everything else has been really screwed up this past week," Dean told Cas. "Remember how I said that Gabe is in love with Sam and Sam's brutally oblivious?"

Cas nodded his head.

"Not anymore," Dean replied. "The next day Sam decided to make some big long speech to Gabe about how I was too wimpy to tell you who I am. And apparently Gabe was so moved by the speech that he ended up making out with Sam. And when I walked back into the room, both of them realized what had just happened and now they've been avoiding each other all week and it's driving me insane. And of course, because I'm such a dumbass, I decide to show up at the guy that I like's house to complain about my dead wife." There was a short pause before Dean sarcastically asked, "Aren't you glad that you invited me in?"

"Yes," Castiel simply replied.

"Seriously?" Dean asked. "Because I'm kind of a train wreck."

"In case you haven't noticed, I like you too," Cas responded. "I was actually hoping that it would be you who was texting me since Sam's birthday party."

"Oh yes, nothing hotter than a mental break-down, getting pissed on, and embarrassing dance moves. Especially when combined with the knowledge that I live on my brother's sofabed," Dean said sarcastically.

"I believe that your forgetting about a few things," Cas told him. "Because personally, I thought that we were having a pretty good time before the dog pissed on you. And there was that whole thing where you completely forgot that you were going to hide from the party because you were embarrassed about your scar and went running the instant that you heard that there was something wrong with Gabe. And you somehow miraculously managed to make him smile."

"Not so miraculously," Dean responded. "That was when I told him that I liked you. And then I had to keep him from yelling about it while you were standing right inside the door. And that's why I told him then instead of when I told Sam."

"Wait, you told Sam before?" Cas asked. "Then did he know when he invited me to his birthday?"

"Yes and no," Dean answered. "He had no idea that it was you, he just knew that I liked someone. It was strictly coincidence that you were there. He found out that it was specifically you at the party when I freaked out at him, assuming that he had been going through my phone. And then he felt the need to bug me about it every two seconds at the party, trying to convince me to tell you.. Sam and Gabe have both been ridiculously trying to convince me to tell you, Sam before he even knew who you were.. And yes, we are a group of thirteen year-old girls."

"Wouldn't that make me a pedophile?" Cas asked.

"Well, if the trench coat fits," Dean commented with a shrug.

"Hey!" Cas said, playfully hitting Dean in the back of the head.

* * *

><p>"I give up," Sam said after trying to call Dean once again.<p>

Sam sat down next to Gabe, who was already sitting on Dean's sofabed.

There was a long silence before Gabe finally grew the balls to say, "Maybe we should talk about-"

"There's an I Love Lucy marathon on today, we could watch that," Sam said, grabbing the remote. He wasn't ready to have that conversation yet.

"You hate I Love Lucy," Gabe said accusingly.

"You don't," Sam responded.

"So you think that you can distract me with a marathon of my favourite old show? Think again-" Gabe cut himself off when Sam changed the channel to the marathon, Gabe had already become absorbed in the show.

* * *

><p>Cas had left the room to go grab a couple of beers and came back to find Dean sitting on the floor with his back resting against the couch.<p>

"Why are you on the ground?" Cas asked.

"It's comfy," Dean responded simply.

* * *

><p>Cas woke up in the middle of the night to hear Dean whimpering quietly in his sleep. Cas wasn't quite sure when they had fallen asleep, but here he was, laying on the floor next to a sleeping Dean.<p>

Cas could tell that Dean was having a nightmare, but wasn't exactly sure what to do. He decided not to wake him up and simply wrapped an arm around his side. This actually seemed to help and within a few minutes Cas had fallen back to sleep.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Please read and review! :D Thanks for reading, I hope that you enjoyed the update.**

**An extra super amazing THANK YOU goes out to the reviewers of last chapter: Dragonryder94, Mirabilem Electo, shellydiann, EvilGeniusBookWorm13, darkphoenix2345, Casismyfavorite, DarkComedian, RecklessStereo, and Guest**


	14. The Morning After

Dean woke up to a faint beeping noise coming from Sam's room. No... Not Sam's room because he wasn't in Sam's apartment.

He groggily looked around the room and realized where he was. The beeping must be coming from an alarm clock in Cas's room.

Dean suddenly felt a weight being lifted from his side, one that he hadn't even noticed was there. His eyes flicked down just in time to see Cas's arm finish sliding off of him.

He heard Cas get up from the floor and faint footsteps as he headed down the hallway, then the beeping stopped.

As the footsteps got louder again, Dean rolled over to face the hallway.

"You really are one of those crazy morning people," Dean muttered. "You actually have an alarm set to get up at-" He glanced at the clock hanging from the wall. "... six-thirty on a Sunday morning."

"This me going all wild and crazy and sleeping in because it's the weekend," Cas told him.

"No normal human wakes up this early when they don't have to," Dean replied.

"I forgot that the alarm was even on," Cas admitted.

Dean suddenly remembered that he had told Sam he was going to Gabe's and then never came home. And that he'd had a missed phone call from Sam when he had put his phone on silent last night.

"Shit," Dean muttered to himself as he got up.

"What?" Cas asked.

"I made it seem like I was leaving for a few hours and didn't go back home last night," Dean responded. "And Sam was already in over-concerned mode. Ignoring his calls probably didn't help that."

"Probably not," Cas agreed.

"I should go before he files a missing persons report," Dean said, then realized something else. "..I'm wearing your clothes."

"You're guilty about a crash that wasn't your fault, I doubt you'll steal them," Cas pointed out. "I'll get them back some other time."

"Thanks," Dean responded; he wasn't just talking about the clothes.

Dean turned and headed for the apartment door, but froze halfway there. After a moment's pause he turned and walked straight back to Cas.

He pressed his lips aggressively against the other man's and Cas immediately reciprocated the kiss. The kiss intensified and after a few seconds Dean pulled away.

"Now I can leave," Dean said and headed back towards the door only to freeze once again. "...Car keys might help."

"Seems like a good idea," Cas agreed.

Dean headed towards the washroom and returned carrying his still damp clothes.

"_Now_ I can leave," Dean corrected himself.

* * *

><p>When Dean reached the car, he threw his clothes in the back, then grabbed his phone. Dead.<p>

"Perfect."

* * *

><p>Dean was more than shocked when he opened the door to find Sam and Gabe asleep, fully clothed, on top of his bed with the tv still on. They had once again began cuddling involuntarily in their sleep.<p>

"Awwww," Dean said, intentionally loud enough to wake the pair up.

Sam's eyes fluttered open. He instantly released his grip from Gabe and rolled as far away from the other man as he could without falling off of the bed.

Gabe woke up seconds later with the same reaction.

"Well that ruined the moment," Dean said with a mocking grin.

"Where the hell were you?" Sam asked. "We were worried about you."

"Sorry Mom," Dean said, his grin widening as he headed towards the kitchen to scrounge up some breakfast. The other two followed him without thinking.

"Something's wrong with this picture," Gabe commented as Dean poured himself a bowl of Lucky Charms.

"What? I'm not allowed to have cereal?" Dean asked.

"You don't own sweat-pants," Sam commented. "Whose clothes are you wearing?"

Dean scooped a spoonful of cereal into his mouth, then smirked and responded by asking, "So what are you two doing in the same room? I thought you were avoiding each other at all costs... Or is that over?"

The other two went dead silent and looked at anything but each other.

After a few long seconds, Sam said, "Gabe came looking for you."

Dean stared in between them, clearly waiting for someone to explain what was going on between them.

After a few more second Gabe added, "How about you tell us what the hell you did last night."

"No." Dean said, grinning. "You two sort your shit out or else you find out nothing."

Sam shot his brother a bitch-face as Gabe glared, but Dean just smirked and went back to eating his cereal.

"... I'll leave the room," Dean said, grabbing his bowl and heading for the living room (also known as Dean's bedroom).

* * *

><p>Dean sat on his bed and watched forty minutes of Loony Tunes before beginning to wonder what the hell was taking so long. And why he didn't hear anything coming from the kitchen...<p>

He headed into the kitchen, bowl in hand, and froze two steps in.

"Whoa." Dean commented.

Sam and Gabe, who had been in the process of making-out on the kitchen counter, pulled apart and turned to look embarrassedly at Dean.

Dean crossed the kitchen, walking past the pair, to stick his dirty bowl in the sink.

Sam and Gabe simultaneously slid off the counter.

"I take it you figured your shit out.." Dean said.

"Yeah," Sam responded, seeming to have a difficult time maintaining eye contact for more than a few seconds.

Dean looked between Sam and Gabe, taking in their disheveled hair and swollen lips, then smirked and walked back out of the room.

The pair followed right behind him and Gabe once again asked Dean whose clothes he was wearing.

This time Dean actually answered while once again grinning, "They're Cas's."

"So you literally got into his pants," Gabe said smirking.

Dean slapped him in the back of the head.

"No," Dean said with a glare. "...Well, I am wearing his pants, but I didn't sleep with him."

"Really?" Gabe asked, waggling his eyebrows suggestively. "Because it sure seems like you stayed there last night."

"We slept, that was it," Dean argued.

"So you literally slept with him?" Gabe asked.

Dean slapped him once again, "You're such an idiot."

Sam, who had remained silent the whole time, piped up with, "So why are you in his clothes?"

"I got rained on."

"What were you doing there?" Sam asked.

"..It's complicated," Dean responded. It _was_ complicated, but mostly Dean didn't want to explain because the whole showing up at Cas's house crying thing was more than a little embarrassing.

"Get talking," Gabe told him as he made himself comfy in the chair.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Please read and review! Sorry it took me so long to update, hopefully the chapter was worth the wait...**

**Thanks for reading :D**

**A super big thanks to the reviewers of last chapter: LoriLovesDestiel, darkphoenix2345, thelovelybuttercup, Casismyfavorite, shellydiann, EvilGeniusBookWorm13, Paulathe Cat, kissacazador, Havent Met My Angel Yet, michaelfanfic, Mirabilem Electo, DrawACircleThatsTheEarthImNo la, firgodes7, DreamBiggerDarlingAE, i forgot my tampon, RejectedShyRebel18, Guest, and Gothikiisu**


	15. Mr Happypants & Captain Pissypants

"Stop grinning like that," Dean complained as he threw a couch cushion at Gabe's face.

"So you get to walk in here all Mr. Happypants, but I'm not allowed to grin once?" Gabe asked. "That seems a little hypocritical."

"Okay first off, don't use the term 'Mr. Happypants'," Dean responded. "You make it sound like I'm walking around with a boner. And second, you two are always complaining that I'm too mopey so you should be thrilled that I'm all sunshine and smiles today."

"Not exactly how I'd describe you, but whatever..." Sam responded.

Dean stuck his tongue out at his brother.

"And I am thrilled, hence the grinning," Gabe responded.

"Especially considering the other ideas we had for where you were when you didn't come home and ignored your phone," Sam added.

"Dead in a ditch somewhere?" Dean asked.

"More like passed out in a pile of your own vomit in a ditch," Sam responded.

"Those damn ditches," Dean replied. "They're always out to get you... Seriously, does anyone ever think you're dead in the sewers? Or a lake? Or some creepy guy's shack in the woods? No, if you're ever unaccounted for, you're automatically dead in a ditch somewhere."

"Very true," Gabe agreed.

Sam was about to say something, but stopped when Dean's phone beeped from where it was sitting on the table plugged in.

Sam smirked and raised an eyebrow causing Dean to throw another couch cushion, this time at his brother.

Dean grabbed his phone to read the text before Gabe could steal it and read it out loud.

* * *

><p><strong>From Cas:<strong>

_Were you officially declared a missing person?_

**From Dean:**

_I wasn't gone long enough. But apparently they were so concerned that I was passed out in a ditch and covered in puke that they fell asleep in my bed watching an I Love Lucy marathon._

**From Cas:**

_Sam and Gabe? I thought they were avoiding each other?_

* * *

><p>Dean smirked a little.<p>

* * *

><p><strong>From Dean:<strong>

_Not anymore. Mutual belief that I can't survive without them for a few hours brought them together to pretend that nothing ever happened._

_Not telling them whose pants I was wearing until they talked about it was what made them start making out in the kitchen._

**From Cas:**

_You and your brother have a strange relationship._

**From Dean:**

_A few brave people have dared to call us co-dependent._

**From Cas:**

_I don't think that I've even talked to my brother for like a year._

* * *

><p>"Dammit Gabe, give me my phone back!" Dean yelled as he tackled his friend.<p>

"But I want to read what's going on!" Gabe argued.

"I don't care, give it back," Dean argued.

"Sam, a little help?" Gabe asked.

"I'm staying out of this," Sam responded as he got up to go grab a water bottle from the kitchen.

* * *

><p><strong>From Dean:<strong>

_I think ur sexxy ;)_

* * *

><p>"You're an asshole," Dean said, grabbing his phone back.<p>

* * *

><p><strong>From Dean:<strong>

_That was Gabe, the illiterate two year-old._

_Since when do you have a brother?_

**From Cas:**

_He's not exactly my brother. He was my stepbrother then his dad divorced my mom and left him with us._

_So then you don't think I'm sexy?_

**From Dean:**

_I do, I just don't type it like a teenage girl. _

**From Cas:**

_Nice save._

* * *

><p>"Can't you just go away," Dean begged as Gabe lunged in a failed attempt to grab the phone again.<p>

"It's not my fault," Gabe complained. "Maybe I wouldn't be so bored if you hadn't gotten so distracted mid conversation."

"Where's Sasquatch?" Dean asked. "Why don't you play with him?"

"He's asleep in the corner of the kitchen," Sam said as he re-entered the room.

"Then why don't you play with the human Sasquatch?" Dean asked. "I hear he's even potty trained unlike Captain Pissypants."

Sasquatch stumbled into the room with his eyes squinted, but blinking rapidly to try and stay open. He tripped over his own feet and fell down a few times, but continued to make his way towards Dean's feet determinedly.

"That isn't a good sign," Dean pointed out.

"Come on," Gabe said as he bravely picked up the puppy. "You're going outside before you pee on Dean's boyfriend's clothes."

"He isn't my boyfriend," Dean argued, finding himself a little too upset about the use of the word.

It didn't sound right and they definitely weren't in a relationship. So they had kissed? That didn't mean that they had to be in a relationship.

Feelings of guilt began to well up and cover up the happiness as Dean began to think about how he had gone to meet Cas on the anniversary of Lisa's death. And worse than that, he had woken up the next morning and kissed Cas on his way out and then been ridiculously happy and had continued to flirt with Cas through texts.

Dean stopped typing his response and put his phone back into his pocket as he watched Gabe carry Sasquatch out the sliding glass doors.

Gabe came back a few minutes later, triumphantly holding the puppy that he had convinced to do his business outside instead of on Dean. The grin fell off of his face when he spotted the look on his friend's face.

"What?" Gabe asked Dean with a concerned look.

"It's nothing," Dean said, shooting Gabe a reassuring smile that all three of them knew was fake. "Can't you two go an hour without worrying about me?"

* * *

><p><strong>From Anna:<strong>

_Is he still there? ;)_

**From Cas:**

_No, he left a few hours ago._

**From Anna:**

_So he stayed the night? Who was it?_

**From Cas:**

_Yes, he stayed. No, nothing happened. It was Dean._

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Please read and review! Sorry that I haven't updated this in like... months. I'm going to try and start updating the Supernatural stories that I never planned on deserting, but somehow ended up not updating for months after starting to write Vampire Diaries stuff again along with my other stuff. So sorry if the updates are slow, but hopefully they won't be...**

**Anyways, thanks for baring with me and continuing to read :)**

**And the biggest thank you ever goes out to the reviewers of last chapter: shellydiann, kissacazador, Zavijah, Casismyfavorite, justine82, Angelblueeyes, IloveDanno, porcelain ghosts, pls, and the two anonymous guest reviewers :D**


	16. This Again

**From Anna:**

_Bummer. Well at least he's hot…_

_Wait, if it's Dean then why did he stay over?_

**From Cas:**

_Well it might not have exactly been a bummer…._

**From Anna:**

_Cas, are you hot for teacher? And I thought that you hated Dean._

**From Cas:**

_I used to hate him, but I haven't for a while. I was hoping that it would be him._

* * *

><p>Cas chose to ignore the hot for teacher question.<p>

* * *

><p><strong>From Anna:<strong>

_You started liking Dean and hoping that Mystery Man was him and you didn't even tell me!?_

* * *

><p>Cas spent the next several minutes explaining about how Dean had grown on him and recapping the events of the night before.<p>

* * *

><p><strong>From Anna:<strong>

_Well I've got to say that I did not see that coming._

**From Cas:**

_Neither did I at the time._

* * *

><p>Dean had been lying in bed feeling miserable for over an hour.<p>

His thoughts kept going further and further downhill as he tried not to think about Cas and Lisa and deeply failed on both accounts.

Dean covered his head with his pillow and attempted to sleep just as unsuccessfully.

* * *

><p>After a while longer, he heard hushed voices coming from down the hallway.<p>

He removed the pillow from his head, rolled over to face Sam and Gabe, and hurled the pillow at their heads before rolling back over.

"Dean, we can tell that you aren't okay," Sam said as he risked entering the room.

"What are you talking about?" Dean asked. "I'm great; completely fine. Why wouldn't I be?"

"Well you've been lying in bed in a ball of misery for almost two hours now," Gabe pointed out.

"I'm tired, I'm sleeping," Dean lied.

"Except for the fact that you haven't been sleeping," Sam said. "What happened?"

"Nothing," Dean said sternly. "Nothing happened, alright?"

"If you're going to act like this then at least tell us why," Sam pleaded.

"I'm a grown ass man, I don't need you two babysitting me all the time," Dean growled. "Just leave me alone, it's not like I'm going to have a breakdown or anything."

There was an awkward silence that followed that statement.

"Oh my god, you guy's legitimately think that I am going to have a breakdown if you leave me alone," Dean accused as he rolled to face them once again.

"Well no offense, bud.. But you don't exactly have the best track record," Gabe said sheepishly.

"I can't fucking believe you guys," Dean said as he got up off of the bed.

Gabe and Sam looked back and forth, trying to figure out what they should do.

Dean grabbed his car keys and headed for the door.

"Dean, where are you going?" Sam asked in a voice thick with worry.

"Out," Dean said. "Don't try and follow me or find me." His voice turned sarcastic as he added, "I'll try to contain my crazy. But no promises, right? I mean, after all I am unstable."

Dean slammed the door behind himself.

Sam instantly headed towards the door.

"Now where are _you_ going?" Gabe asked him.

"After Dean," Sam said in a tone that made it very clear just how obvious he thought the response was. "Aren't you coming?"

"Maybe we shouldn't this time," Gabe suggested. "I mean half the reason that he's leaving is because he's sick of being smothered by us."

"No he's leaving because something happened and he can't handle it. We can't just let him walk around like this because he got mad at us just because he was already in a bad mood," Sam argued.

"Well it doesn't really matter if he isn't really mad at us and he's just mad at everything, does it?" Gabe asked seriously. "All that matters is that he doesn't want us around and if we show up wherever he's going then it's just going to make things even worse."

Sam looked between Gabe and the door a few times before sighing and saying, "Alright, fine. Maybe you're right..."

"It's Dean," Gabe said. "He'll be fine. And if something happens and he isn't then he'll call us."

Gabe wished that he could be as sure of that as his voice had made him sound.

"Yeah, I guess so," Sam said unconvincingly.

* * *

><p>Meanwhile Dean had just made it into his car and he was sitting in the passenger seat, staring down at the keys in his hand.<p>

Ever since he had first learned how to drive, Dean had always gone driving when he wanted to clear his head or forget a problem or even when he was just bored. But things were different since the crash with Lisa.

The initial reaction would still kick in; he would still immediately grab his keys and head straight for his car. But once he arrived there, he would just sit in the driver's seat and try to talk himself into driving off for several minutes. He would have to tell himself several times that he wasn't going to get into another accident that day. That nothing bad was going to happen and no one was going to get hurt because of his driving.

Dean finally finished talking himself into it and put the key into the ignition.

He turned it and started up the car.

Dean didn't have any idea where he was going as he began to drive. He decided to just drive around aimlessly until he either calmed down or found somewhere that he wanted to go to.

* * *

><p>Dean drove for a long time, he lost track of it as he turned onto random streets.<p>

He finally managed to calm down and decided to head back home and apologize to Gabe and Sam for the way that he had been acting.

Dean turned left onto the next street and was just driving along in his own lane when someone in the opposite lane swerved to avoid a stray dog.

Dean didn't have any time to react or anywhere to go before the truck crashed right into the driver's side door of his car at a high speed. As his car slid to the side, the car behind him slammed into the back of his car.

Dean blacked out before the car even came to a stop in the ditch.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Please read and review! I hope that you enjoyed the chapter and thanks for reading! :D**

**Another great big thanks goes out to all of the reviewers of last chapter: rowsdowersavesus, FireAngel5683, porcelain ghosts, Destiel101, xxxDrSpencerReidxxx, justine82, and Aliniah**


	17. Aftermath

_Dean woke up to find himself standing on a road. But not the one of the most recent accident, he was standing next to the wreckage that Lisa had died in. Except for Lisa was standing next to the car, looking completely unscathed._

"_Lisa?" Dean had to ask anyways as he headed towards her._

_Lisa stepped forwards and slapped him across the face, hard._

"_Ow, what was that for?" Dean asked defensively as he grabbed his face with his hand. "..Am I dead? What happened, last thing I remember there was a car coming at me?"_

"_That's for being a dumbass," She told him. "And no, you aren't dead. Right now you're in the hospital. Or at least your body is."_

"_Am I going to die?" Dean asked._

"_Even if I knew, I wouldn't be allowed to tell you that," Lisa responded._

"_So how am I dumbass?" Dean asked, preparing himself to be yelled at over causing her death._

"_All you do is sit around and obsess over your misery!" She shouted at him. "You ignore anything that might be good because you're too busy trying to torture yourself. Do you really think that's what I want?"_

"_I do not ignore anything good!" Dean defended himself._

"_Really, then why do you keep sabotaging you and Cas?" Lisa challenged._

"_Why do you want me to move on?" Dean shouted at her. "What if I can't?"_

"_Because I want you to be happy, moron!" Lisa yelled at him. "And as nice of a thought as that might be we both know that you are perfectly capable of moving on and that you care about Castiel a lot."_

"_But it isn't right," Dean told her angrily. "If you were still alive when I met him, then this would be cheating. What's so different now?"_

"_I'm not alive," Lisa answered. "So stop being so goddamn stubborn. I'm not alive and it isn't cheating. In fact if you don't try your damndest to move on with him, then I am going to be pissed. I might have to come back from the dead just to kick your stupid ass. Everything happens for a reason. Maybe I died so that you could be with him. Maybe you got into that second crash so that I could talk some sense into your thick head."_

"_You're meaner than I remembered," Dean muttered under his breath._

"_Well everyone is suddenly perfect once they die," Lisa responded. "And every relationship was perfect once it's over."_

"_So, what?" Dean asked. "You're telling me that our relationship was shit and I'm just remembering it how I want to?"_

"_No," Lisa responded. "It wasn't shit all the time, but it's not like we didn't fight. Our relationship certainly was not perfect. I mean the way we're fighting right now is the way that it was half of the time."_

_Dean rolled his eyes, but then a slight smirk formed on his lips._

"_Yeah, maybe," He admitted._

"_Dean I need you to make me a promise," Lisa told him._

"_What?" Dean asked._

"_I need you to promise me that you won't give up on your relationship with Cas before it has even started," She told him._

"_I feel like you're a little late if I end up dying here," Dean commented._

_Lisa hit him in the head once again as she shot him a serious look._

"_Okay, fine. I promise," Dean told her. "Christ.."_

* * *

><p>Dean woke up, gasping for air. Before he could really figure out what was going on, he fell back asleep.<p>

* * *

><p>Dean woke up once again a couple of hours later to find himself in a hospital bed. His head was pounding as he looked up at the fluorescent lighting of the room. Dean attempted to sit up, but just ended up lying back as he let out a sound of pain.<p>

"Dean?" Sam asked in a clearly panicked voice.

Dean couldn't see him, but he could picture the look on his brother's face perfectly.

"I've really got to stop doing this," Dean muttered. "I feel like taking up smoking would be a hell of a lot better for my health."

"That's the Dean I know," Gabe said, making his presence known for the first time. "Dies for two minutes and then the first thing he says when he comes back is sarcastic."

"Whats for two minutes?" Dean asked, forcing himself to sit up enough to look at Gabe through the pain.

As Dean managed to sit him up, he spotted that there was a third person in his room that he hadn't realized was there.

"I'm not positive, but I'm pretty sure that I bled all over your clothes," Dean told Cas. "Sorry."

Cas rolled his eyes at Dean.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Please read and review! I hope that you enjoyed the chapter and thanks for reading it! :D**

**Another great big thanks goes out to all of the reviewers of last chapter: Destiel101, xxxDrSpencerReidxxx, EchoBell, and Aliniah**


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